Jesus says to love our neighbours, and includes enemies in his definition. In this week’s story Jesus confronted the reality that Samaritans and Jews were neighbours yet enemies, and said that his followers need to love and serve one another beyond such divisions.
Elsewhere, he says it quite clearly: love your enemy. Turn the other cheek. Go the extra mile. My favourite part is where he says, “If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same.”
Loving your friends is nothing special, but loving your enemies is special indeed. It’s hard, it’s messy, it feels very risky, compromising and vulnerable. But when we avoid loving our neighbours and enemies, we live in isolation, fear of the unknown and misunderstandings.
One mayor told a church leader: “The majority of issues that our community is facing would be eliminated or drastically reduced if we could just figure out a way to become a community of great neighbours.”
It’s hard to know what to say, do, when life gets messy, and especially when our love isn’t returned. It’s easy to just give up and say Jesus’ command is too hard to follow.
But that can be explained simply enough. We haven’t got enough practice loving those closest to us, who aren’t our enemies, in order to be ready for loving our enemies. Loving our friendly, similar neighbours is good training for the big leagues.
So – start by just finding out – Who is my neighbour?
Download the attached Block Map. You are in the middle of the grid, and think of the other squares in the grid as your neighbours across the street, beside and behind your home. Or if it’s more appropriate, think of it as your workplace, and the squares as neighbouring cubicles. Then write in each square:
Their Name(s)
One Fact About Them
Something Deeper – A hope, dream, fear, challenge, etc.
Try and complete the grid as much as possible, and discuss with your group.
We meet for coffee every Wednesday night at Starbucks in the Chapters Store in Ajax, in Durham Region just East of Toronto. Maybe we’ll see you there?
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Last week, I told you story of my old neighbour who helped build a deck. He nicely represented the transition from strangers to neighbours to acquaintances to partners. Today we’ll go one step further. We’ll talk about becoming friends with those we work with, those we help, and those we live around.
When I was a volunteer paramedic, I remember one partner in particular. We did several shifts together, and on calls he was always nervous, and second-guessing himself, which could be challenging to work with. One day, he invited me to supper. I met his family, saw his home and farm, and in the process learned about him and his values. The next shift we had together was different. I found we could communicate better, and I could anticipate his moves. Debriefing the call afterwards was easier. I knew this quirks, where they came from, and could work from a place of partnership and friendship rather than tolerance.
This has wider application than the workplace, but some good examples of how important this is follow from a few studies:
50 percent of employees with a best friend at work reported that they feel a strong connection with their company, compared to just 10 percent of employees without a best friend at work. (A 2012 Gallup report which found that)
People planning to stick with their current job cited “good relationship with co-workers” as the major reason (67%) – above “job satisfaction” (63%), “flexible working arrangements” (57%) and even salary (which ranked seventh at 46%). A 2013 survey of 2,223 business people across Australia
In the same way, being a follower of Jesus isn’t just about doing transactions, like dealing with other followers of Jesus because you have to, or caring for others in need simply because it looks good.
We’re actually meant to become friends with those we care for, and those we care with. Not every single one to the same degree maybe, but we are actually meant to have a relationship with those we encounter in this life, and not simply use people or tolerate others.
We’ll focus this week on those we care for, those we’ve been talking about all along, and becoming friends.
Question: When have you unexpectedly “hit it off” with someone at work?
Download the attached Block Map. You are in the middle of the grid, and think of the other squares in the grid as your neighbours across the street, beside and behind your home. Or if it’s more appropriate, think of it as your workplace, and the squares as neighbouring cubicles. Then write in each square: