When people ask you how you’re doing – have you every included the word “busy” in your answer?

One NY Times article called “The Busy Trap” that went viral commented, “It’s become the default response when you ask anyone how they’re doing: “Busy!” “So busy.” “Crazy busy.””

Notice it isn’t generally people pulling back-to-back shifts in the I.C.U. or commuting by bus to three minimum-wage jobs  who tell you how busy they are; what those people are is not busy but tired. Exhausted. Dead on their feet. It’s almost always people whose lamented busyness is purely self-imposed: work and obligations they’ve taken on voluntarily, classes and activities they’ve “encouraged” their kids to participate in. They’re busy because of their own ambition or drive or anxiety, because they’re addicted to busyness and dread what they might have to face in its absence.

Yes, for most of us, busyness is a choice, and we kind of like it!

But what are its consequences?

One psychiatrist listed a few:

  • It is so easy with cellphones and BlackBerrys a touch away.
  • It is a kind of high.
  • It is a status symbol.
  • We’re afraid we’ll be left out if we slow down.
  • We avoid dealing with life’s really big issues — death, global warming, AIDS, terrorism — by running from task to task.
  • We do not know how not to be busy.

There are many, but we’ll focus today on the consequence for our neighbours, since Jesus said this was so important.

When I first moved to Ajax, it naturally took a little time to meet all our neighbours.  Most memorably, two distinct families said the same thing when they met us.  One said, “I’m really sorry we’re just meeting you, I had made cakepops for you guys, but then got too busy to bring them over.”  Another said the same thing, “my wife was going to bake a pie to welcome you, but we got too busy.”

It’s heartbreaking – firstly because I could have had some excellent desserts, but also because it’s obvious how hectic our lifestyles can be, and how it inhibits forming lifegiving relationships.

Question: On a scale from 1 to 10 how busy is your life right now?

Ryan Sim - September 16, 2013

Monday - A New Idea - Strangers to Neighbours

Last week, I shared that a 2005 StatsCan study revealed 61 per cent of rural residents knew all of their neighbours, but only 16 per cent of those living in major urban centres did. This isn’t terribly surprising. Do you have a hard time remembering names in the first place? I certainly do, even though I know I shouldn’t. Sometimes I forget the moment someone tells me…I was too busy thinking about what to say next! But names are important. According to a Lifehacker blog post, “a person's own name is the single most important word to him/her; it is intimately tied to his/her identity as an individual. How you deal with people's names can have a profound effect on their impressions of you: Think about the times you've felt special when someone you admired addressed you by your name in a sincere tone; or think about the times when you've felt belittled when someone negligently called you by the wrong name, or worse, maliciously made fun of your name in front of you.” But something so important is also so easily forgotten. Sometimes it’s physiology, since “names are among the first things to go as our brains begin shrinking — by about half of one per cent annually — starting as early as our thirties.” People come up with all kinds of strategies for remembering names. Personally, I write the name down as soon as I can, since it helps me most to see the name in print somewhere. It works for me, but maybe not you. Question: How well do you remember names? What strategies help you?

From Series: "Won't You Be My Neighbour?"

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