It seems like every sitcom shares a feature: friends just come and go, they seldom knock or call first.  Think of Friends – the characters simply came and went.  You might think Seinfeld was an exception, with George and Elaine buzzing from the lobby, but don’t forget how Jerry’s neighbour Kramer just tumbles in the door.  I’m sure to some degree this is about writing a good script – you can’t have a lot of down time waiting for people to answer the doorbell.  But it also communicates something about the depth of their friendship.

Some researchers say these kinds of friends have what’s called refrigerator rights.  The term comes from a book of the same name, but you may have heard it in pop culture, too.  It defines a close relationship, where even though they don’t live there, a friend is able to come and go at will, and even eat from the other’s fridge without asking.  It’s a high level of friendship.

For some people, maybe that seems natural enough.  You grew up with it, perhaps.  But for others, it bothers you.  You might think it’s awkward, too intimate, or too trusting.  You might ask, “What if I needed those leftovers for lunch tomorrow?  What if that dessert was for a party?  What if you come in my house while I’m in the shower, sleeping, or arguing with my spouse?”

The lines between family and friend are starting to blur in that kind of relationship.  That’s the shift we’re going to explore this week in our pursuit of becoming great neighbours.  We’ll look at the relationships with our neighbours that go deepest – where we become like family, with a focused, high level of friendship.

Question: How do you react to people having “refrigerator rights” in your house?  Would you love more relationships that close, or are you a bit nervous?

Ryan Sim - September 11, 2013

Wednesday - Change It - Neighbours Matter

Won\'t You Be My Neighbour?

So what is the connection between loving God and loving our neighbour? If there is real love of God, there will be love for ourselves, and love for our neighbour. See how complete Jesus reminds us this love for God is meant to be: all our heart, soul and mind. We are so often tempted to hold something back. We want to love ourselves on our own terms – to love ourselves fully, like we should love God. But that would lead to a world full of Gods, and how would that work out? Or we are tempted to put these two loves in opposition. I can either be good, ethical, and law-abiding to love God, or I can just love people. The problem with this is that true love of our neighbour flows from the love ofGod. Our love for God leads to love of our neighbours, which leads us to want to act right toward them. Without love for God, and an experience of his love, we each have to define love for ourselves, and we all have different ideas about what love is! We’ll see tomorrow how Jesus’ self-giving love sets the pattern for our love, while freeing us from the traps of loving ourselves first, trying to use others to earn our salvation, or any other attempt to manipulate God or others. Question: Define love.

From Series: "Won't You Be My Neighbour?"

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