It seems like every sitcom shares a feature: friends just come and go, they seldom knock or call first.  Think of Friends – the characters simply came and went.  You might think Seinfeld was an exception, with George and Elaine buzzing from the lobby, but don’t forget how Jerry’s neighbour Kramer just tumbles in the door.  I’m sure to some degree this is about writing a good script – you can’t have a lot of down time waiting for people to answer the doorbell.  But it also communicates something about the depth of their friendship.

Some researchers say these kinds of friends have what’s called refrigerator rights.  The term comes from a book of the same name, but you may have heard it in pop culture, too.  It defines a close relationship, where even though they don’t live there, a friend is able to come and go at will, and even eat from the other’s fridge without asking.  It’s a high level of friendship.

For some people, maybe that seems natural enough.  You grew up with it, perhaps.  But for others, it bothers you.  You might think it’s awkward, too intimate, or too trusting.  You might ask, “What if I needed those leftovers for lunch tomorrow?  What if that dessert was for a party?  What if you come in my house while I’m in the shower, sleeping, or arguing with my spouse?”

The lines between family and friend are starting to blur in that kind of relationship.  That’s the shift we’re going to explore this week in our pursuit of becoming great neighbours.  We’ll look at the relationships with our neighbours that go deepest – where we become like family, with a focused, high level of friendship.

Question: How do you react to people having “refrigerator rights” in your house?  Would you love more relationships that close, or are you a bit nervous?

Ryan Sim - October 3, 2013

Thursday - Act On It - Acquaintances to Partners

Won\'t You Be My Neighbour?

This week is all about being great neighbours, particularly by showing compassion. But what does it look like to show compassion for our neighbours? Start at the beginning of this series. We started with knowing names, then learning stories as acquaintances. Those two things help us to know the needs of our neighbours. Then we can find ways to help – near or far. When someone near you has a new baby, we know they’ll be hungry and having a hard time cooking – maybe you can feed them for a day. Or further from home, perhaps you can donate to the food banks at the Salvation Army or St. Paul’s on the Hill in Pickering. When you walk by a homeless person in a heatwave, they are probably thirsty, perhaps you can offer to buy them a bottle of Gatorade or water. Sit down with them as they drink it. Or further from home, perhaps you can support water well drilling abroad. When we see someone lonely in a room, standing alone, we can at least introduce ourselves, and help them get acquainted. Or when someone moves to the neighbourhood, welcome them! Further afield, maybe you can volunteer with a local service to immigrants, or an ESL class. When we know someone can’t afford new clothes that fit, we can share our own, or go on a Value Village spree with them. Or if you have clothes but don’t know who needs them, don’t wait for a garage sale, instead donate them to the Goodwill or Salvation Army thrift shop. When someone is going through cancer treatment, or another illness, perhaps we can shovel or cut grass. Or if you don’t know someone personally, the Cancer Society always needs volunteers who can drive people to appointments. Finally, if you know someone in prison, perhaps you can visit them and make it clear you care for them as a human being loved by God. Or if you don’t know someone in that situation, you could support a prison fellowship or another ministry to those who are incarcerated. Whatever you start with, it’s a part of our calling as followers of Jesus to recognize his beloved creatures in trouble and show compassion. It’s not about earning some reward – it’s simply part of kingdomliness, which is a reward in and of itself. Challenge: In yesterday’s exercise, who of these six people in need did you say was hardest and easiest to show compassion for? Plan a practical way to help the needs of both this week – either directly to someone near you, or indirectly as we’ve suggested.

From Series: "Won't You Be My Neighbour?"

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