This week we’re exploring this idea of “people of peace”. Jesus sent his followers to various towns, and asked them find people of peace and go deeply in relationship with them, and not to go from house to house. This was selective by design, and Jesus is okay with that. Jesus focused on his 12 disciples, and sometimes even smaller groups, through much of his ministry. Here he sends 72, not 72000.
Jesus sends them to focus on one family in each town. Go deep into relationship with them. He even says, if things don’t work out, move on.
But whenever you enter a town and they do not receive you, go into its streets and say, ‘Even the dust of your town that clings to our feet we wipe off against you. Nevertheless know this, that the kingdom of God has come near.’ I tell you, it will be more bearable on that day for Sodom than for that town. (Luke 10:10-12)
There can be all sorts of reasons why someone doesn’t want a close relationship with a follower of Jesus. The authors of “The Art of Neighbouring” suggest they may be:
Too busy
Wary of certain people
Already relationally full
At a different stage of life
Afraid of exposure
They may not be your person of peace. Not now, or ever. They may be someone else’s person of peace! But if they welcome you, are hospitable and friendly, invest in them, and they will invest in you.
Sometimes it’s obvious, but if it is not obvious, pray, and just dive in, meet people, see who pops up as generous, caring, patient, and hospitable.
Question: Who do you think might be a person of peace in your neighbourhood?
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It seems like every sitcom shares a feature: friends just come and go, they seldom knock or call first. Think of Friends – the characters simply came and went. You might think Seinfeld was an exception, with George and Elaine buzzing from the lobby, but don’t forget how Jerry’s neighbour Kramer just tumbles in the door. I’m sure to some degree this is about writing a good script – you can’t have a lot of down time waiting for people to answer the doorbell. But it also communicates something about the depth of their friendship.
Some researchers say these kinds of friends have what’s called refrigerator rights. The term comes from a book of the same name, but you may have heard it in pop culture, too. It defines a close relationship, where even though they don’t live there, a friend is able to come and go at will, and even eat from the other’s fridge without asking. It’s a high level of friendship.
For some people, maybe that seems natural enough. You grew up with it, perhaps. But for others, it bothers you. You might think it’s awkward, too intimate, or too trusting. You might ask, “What if I needed those leftovers for lunch tomorrow? What if that dessert was for a party? What if you come in my house while I’m in the shower, sleeping, or arguing with my spouse?”
The lines between family and friend are starting to blur in that kind of relationship. That’s the shift we’re going to explore this week in our pursuit of becoming great neighbours. We’ll look at the relationships with our neighbours that go deepest – where we become like family, with a focused, high level of friendship.
Question: How do you react to people having “refrigerator rights” in your house? Would you love more relationships that close, or are you a bit nervous?