Marriage Course - September 20, 2012

Day 34 - What Forgiveness Is and Is Not

Forgiveness IS NOT
• demanding a person changes before we forgive them
• pretending it doesn't matter and trying to forget about it
• thinking time alone will heal the hurt

Forgiveness IS
• facing the wrong done to us
• recognizing the emotions inside
• releasing the other person into God's hands, leaving the consequences to Him
• choosing not to hold it against our husband or wife

If we do not forgive we'll be the one imprisoned by the bitterness, resentment, and anger

Forgiveness is a process-we often need to keep forgiving for the same hurt-sometimes on a daily basis

God forgives us freely and therefore we must forgive each other freely

Start Again Together:
• begin each day with a fresh start and no backlog-tear off each page of the notebook
• don't expect healing to be instant-apology and forgiveness remove the distance between us but the hurt leaves a bruising that needs time to heal
• re-build trust by setting aside marriage time, and being gentle and kind towards each other
• pray for one another-pray aloud or silently, asking God to heal your partner of the hurt you have caused him or her

This process is like a drain that carries away the hurt

Confession to God and those we hurt, together with forgiving those who have hurt us, must become a daily habit if intimacy is to be maintained. Otherwise the drain begins to block up with unresolved hurt and anger.

Question:Ask your husband or wife to tell you one way that you can support them this week. If you feel comfortable, pray for each other – aloud or silently. Otherwise express your support in some other way.

Question 2:Complete the Worksheet found under "Study Guide"

From Series: "Marriage"

Study Guide

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The aim of The Marriage Course is to help couples grow closer through:

  • choosing commitment to each other and to their marriage
  • spending time looking at relevant issues together
  • increasing their understanding of each other
  • developing good habits

Tell each other your strongest memory of the first time you met and what first attracted you to one other.


  1. admin
    November 8, 2012

    Welcome to the first day of the Marriage Course!

  2. admin
    November 8, 2012

    Welcome again!

  3. Ryan Sim
    November 13, 2012

    Welcome to the first day of the Marriage Course! Why has no one else commented? Because we’ve just launched, and you’re one of the first to enjoy our new app and web site. Please feel free to comment and ask questions in this space, but make sure you discuss anything specific to your marriage with your spouse only.

    Enjoy the course!

  4. Sisireia
    January 31, 2013

    I am excited about this course. This was a phenomenal novel idea.

  5. Leovino
    July 12, 2018

    Thank you for sharing this course…continue to be a blessing, God bless


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