Parenting Children - August 16, 2012

Day 4 – Family Provides Fun & A Moral Compass


•  value of laughter
•  plan special family times
•  make sure the time is clear of any other commitments for every member of the family
•  prevent interruptions from the telephone or other people (unless they are invited with the understanding that it is family time Suggested routine for family times
•  try to make it the same time each week
•  spend at least an hour and a half having fun
•  take turns choosing what activity you do (See worksheet)
•  have it coincide with a meal
•  get each family member in turn to choose their favorite menu
•  when they are old enough, use it as an opportunity to teach them to cook their choice of food
•  make sure conversation and activities are at the level of the children
•  if it is a week night, work out when to fit in homework, music practice, etc. (before or after depending on the age of the children)
•  turn off the TV, or limit it to one program or DVD that you can watch together
•  children learn about good and bad behavior from their family they learn values such as:
•  thinking about others
•  taking responsibility
•  helping around the house

Question:
How can you plan a focused time of play with your child(ren) this week? Spend some time thinking about your moral compass – where does it point? Why?

Study Guide

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Teenagers needs the confidence that comes from knowing they are loved.  Their behaviour often acts like a gauge showing how full of love their internal “emotional tank” is.  Today, we introduce the concept of the five love languages as a way of expressing love to our teenagers in order for them to feel loved.

  • Our teenagers’ greatest need is to feel loved and accepted during this enormous transition in their lives a time of:
    • self- discovery
    • pushing for independence
    • much self-questioning
    • peer pressure
    • they can experience a lot of self-doubt and feel awkward and unlovable
    • confidence rests on:
      • security (knowing they are loved)
      • self-worth (knowing they are of value)
      • significance (knowing there is a purpose to their lives)
      • seek to keep their emotional tank” full of LOVE:
        • their behavior acts like the gauge to show how full of love they feel
        • knowing that they are loved and accepted enables them in the long-term:
          • to resist peer pressure when they need to
          • to make good choices
          • to build close relationships

Discovering how our teenagers feel loved

  • discover the primary way each teenager feels loved, whether it’s through:
    • time
    • words
    • touch
    • presents
    • actions
    • (see Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages of Teenagers)
    • importance of a particular love language may have changed as a child has grown older

Question: Which of the five way of expressing love was most important for you during your upbringing?