Parenting Teens - August 27, 2012

Day 11 - Love Languages

Parenting Teenagers

Teenagers needs the confidence that comes from knowing they are loved. Their behaviour often acts like a gauge showing how full of love their internal “emotional tank” is. Today, we introduce the concept of the five love languages as a way of expressing love to our teenagers in order for them to feel loved.

Our teenagers’ greatest need is to feel loved and accepted during this enormous transition in their lives a time of: • self- discovery • pushing for independence • much self-questioning • peer pressure

they can experience a lot of self-doubt and feel awkward and unlovable • confidence rests on: • security (knowing they are loved) • self-worth (knowing they are of value) • significance (knowing there is a purpose to their lives) • seek to keep their emotional tank" full of lOVE: • their behavior acts like the gauge to show how full of love they feel

Knowing that they are loved and accepted enables them in the long-term: • to resist peer pressure when they need to • to make good choices • to build close relationships

Discovering how our teenagers feel loved
discover the primary way each teenager feels loved, whether it's through: • time • words • touch • presents • actions

(see Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages of Teenagers) • importance of a particular love language may have changed as a child has grown older

Question:
Which of the five ways of expressing love was most important for you during your upbringing?

From Series: "Parenting Teenagers"

Study Guide

More Messages Associated With "Family"...

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  • our children crave to be noticed by us and crave our attention
  • special time with each child develops their self-esteem and their ability to relate to others
  • can be difficult for us as parents to recognize this need and to fulfill it
  • the more children we have, the more planning and conscious effort it takes
  • channels of communication are opened through spending one-on-one time with our child(ren)
  • can transform a child’s behavior
  • eye contact:
    • can be used either positively or negatively
    • children learn by modeling – if we do it, they’ll do it
    • easy when they are babies – but don’t give up eye contact as they get older
    • good eye contact goes hand in hand with active listening

Do you have fond memories of 1:1 time with a parent?  What memories can you create with your children one on one?

 

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