Parenting Teens - September 4, 2012

Day 19 - Effective Communications Strategies Part I

Parenting Teenagers

We look at the role of listening and attention-giving in effective communications.

2. Learn to listen
• treat them like young adults (not children) • Listen carefully to their views and feelings

Effective communication requires that parents o learn to speak with their teenager rather than at their teenager (Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages of Teenagers) o engage in discussion and be prepared to debate the issues rather than repeating Simplistic slogans such as “You're too young to have a boyfriend” or “drugs are dangerous”

3. Give your full attention • recognize the important moments to listen and give your full attention • don't try to listen to your teenager while doing something else at the same time • maintain eye contact; observe your teenager’s body language

Question:
When have you had your best conversations with your teenager?

From Series: "Parenting Teenagers"

Study Guide

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Parenting teenagers involves gradually letting out the boundaries and giving increased freedom and responsibility.  We compare different parenting styles (neglectful, authoritarian, indulgent and authoritative) and show how a combination of warmth and firmness (authoritative parenting) is the most beneficial to a teenager’s healthy development.Adapting our approach

  • Communication not always easy through the teenage years
  • learning curve for most parents
  • adults and teenagers tend to communicate in different ways

See attached worksheet for some differences!

  • if we allow them to tell us what they find difficult about how we communicate with them, they are more likely to listen to us when we need to tell them what we find difficult about how they communicate with us
  • understand that sometimes teenagers like to be contrary. (If we get heavy and intense they will probably react strongly just to give us a hard time)
  • give them space. Respect their privacy.
  • don’t try to control every aspect of their lives.
  • don’t expect them to tell you everything

How easy or difficult is it for you to communicate with your teenager(s) currently?