Parenting Teens - August 27, 2012

Day 11 - Love Languages

Parenting Teenagers

Teenagers needs the confidence that comes from knowing they are loved. Their behaviour often acts like a gauge showing how full of love their internal “emotional tank” is. Today, we introduce the concept of the five love languages as a way of expressing love to our teenagers in order for them to feel loved.

Our teenagers’ greatest need is to feel loved and accepted during this enormous transition in their lives a time of: • self- discovery • pushing for independence • much self-questioning • peer pressure

they can experience a lot of self-doubt and feel awkward and unlovable • confidence rests on: • security (knowing they are loved) • self-worth (knowing they are of value) • significance (knowing there is a purpose to their lives) • seek to keep their emotional tank" full of lOVE: • their behavior acts like the gauge to show how full of love they feel

Knowing that they are loved and accepted enables them in the long-term: • to resist peer pressure when they need to • to make good choices • to build close relationships

Discovering how our teenagers feel loved
discover the primary way each teenager feels loved, whether it's through: • time • words • touch • presents • actions

(see Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages of Teenagers) • importance of a particular love language may have changed as a child has grown older

Question:
Which of the five ways of expressing love was most important for you during your upbringing?

From Series: "Parenting Teenagers"

Study Guide

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We look at the role of Paying Attention to Their World, Listening for Feelings & Avoiding Interruptions in effective communications.4. Show an interest in the world of your teenageres)

  • ask questions about their interests and listen to their answers
  • treat them as unique individuals with their own points of view and personal tastes

5. Listen for feelings

  • allow them to express negative emotions
  • don’t rush in with solutions right away

6. Try to avoid interrupting

  • the average person listens for only seventeen seconds

resist the desire to be defensive or to butt in and correct

What affirming words can you share with your teenager this week?  What one-to-one time can you plan?