Parenting Teens - September 2, 2012

Day 17 - Effective Communications

Parenting Teenagers

Parenting teenagers involves gradually letting out the boundaries and giving increased freedom and responsibility. We compare different parenting styles (neglectful, authoritarian, indulgent and authoritative) and show how a combination of warmth and firmness (authoritative parenting) is the most beneficial to a teenager’s healthy development.

Adapting our approach
• Communication not always easy through the teenage years • learning curve for most parents • adults and teenagers tend to communicate in different ways See attached file for some differences! • if we allow them to tell us what they find difficult about how we communicate with them, they are more likely to listen to us when we need to tell them what we find difficult about how they communicate with us • understand that sometimes teenagers like to be contrary. (If we get heavy and intense they will probably react strongly just to give us a hard time) • give them space. Respect their privacy. • don't try to control every aspect of their lives. • don't expect them to tell you everything

Question:
How easy or difficult is it for you to communicate with your teenager(s) currently?

See the attached worksheets in the study guide

From Series: "Parenting Teenagers"

Study Guide

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We look at the role of reflecting back, responding appropriately and taking a long-term view in healthy communications.7. Reflect back what they have said

  • say back to them what you think they are trying to express, particularly their feelings use some of their own words and phrases

8. Respond appropriately

  • give guidance and reassurance
  • they are likely to remember our words for years to come

9. Take a long-term view

  • sometimes any meaningful communicationwith teenagers can be a big struggle
  • difficulties are usually the result of a phase they’re going through
  • try to create the conditions for conversation to become easier, at mealtimes; spending time with them doing what they enjoy; using their love language
  • if worried, seek professional help and/or medical support

Role play with another adult.  Have them share a typical teenage problem with you, and reflect back what they’ve said.  Go back and forth for a few minutes, then switch.  What was easy or hard about this?