Parenting Children - September 18, 2012

Day 35 - Handling anger - Ours and theirs

Parenting Children Ages 0-10

Unhelpful reactions to anger

• some people react like a rhino - when angry, they go on the attack and express their feelings aggressively
• some people react like a hedgehog - when angry, they protect themselves and bury their feelings
• learning to control our anger
• Recognize the root of our anger
• HALT - ask: Am I Hungry, Anxious, Lonely or Tired?
• displaced anger: buried anger caused by someone in the past can come out in the present against someone else
• deal with unresolved hurt from the past through forgiveness

2. Take time out to calm down

• press the pause button • avoid jumping to conclusions

3. Label the action not the child's character
• avoid phrases like "You're so careless” or "You're so unkind”
• children can believe labels
• labeling the action helps them to change, e.g.; That was a careless thing to do" or "That was an unkind remark to make”

4. Use "I" statements to express own feelings

• helps us to avoid labeling other people
• easier for them to respond constructively
• and make changes in their behavior

Question:
Do you tend to react more like a rhino or a hedgehog? What helps you express your anger effectively? How do your children tend to react? What helps them?

From Series: "Parenting Children Ages 0-10"

Study Guide

More From "Parenting Children Ages 0-10"

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Choose the Right Battles

  • pause for thought
  • stop to think about whether your child is: HALT
    • H – Hungry
    • A – Anxious
    • L – Lonely
    • T – Tired
    • Or, are you?

Recognize natural childishness

  • Recognize the difference between natural childishness and disobedience
  • This halves the battles we have to fight
  • Adjust your expectations according to their level of maturity

Maintain a Sense of Humour

  • find ways to lighten the atmosphere

laugh together and with other parents

Complete the attached worksheet.

 

 

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