Marriage Course - September 20, 2012

Day 34 - What Forgiveness Is and Is Not

Marriage

Forgiveness IS NOT
• demanding a person changes before we forgive them
• pretending it doesn't matter and trying to forget about it
• thinking time alone will heal the hurt

Forgiveness IS
• facing the wrong done to us
• recognizing the emotions inside
• releasing the other person into God's hands, leaving the consequences to Him
• choosing not to hold it against our husband or wife

If we do not forgive we'll be the one imprisoned by the bitterness, resentment, and anger

Forgiveness is a process-we often need to keep forgiving for the same hurt-sometimes on a daily basis

God forgives us freely and therefore we must forgive each other freely

Start Again Together:
• begin each day with a fresh start and no backlog-tear off each page of the notebook
• don't expect healing to be instant-apology and forgiveness remove the distance between us but the hurt leaves a bruising that needs time to heal
• re-build trust by setting aside marriage time, and being gentle and kind towards each other
• pray for one another-pray aloud or silently, asking God to heal your partner of the hurt you have caused him or her

This process is like a drain that carries away the hurt

Confession to God and those we hurt, together with forgiving those who have hurt us, must become a daily habit if intimacy is to be maintained. Otherwise the drain begins to block up with unresolved hurt and anger.

Question:Ask your husband or wife to tell you one way that you can support them this week. If you feel comfortable, pray for each other – aloud or silently. Otherwise express your support in some other way.

Question 2:Complete the Worksheet found under "Study Guide"

From Series: "Marriage"

Study Guide

More From "Marriage"

Powered by Series Engine

The four seasons of marriage (not every marriage will go through each stage, but the principles apply to all marriages)

Spring

  • early years of marriage
  • season of discovery and excitement
  • initial infatuation will wear off at some stage
  • the greatest need is to accept each other

Summer

  • season of increased activity and demands
  • may become parents during this season
  • may face pressures of infertility
  • careers can be more demanding
  • the greatest need is to give time to the marriage relationship

Reflect on what you’ve heard so far. Talk together about the pressures you’ve worked through until now in your relationship, and the pressures you’re currently facing.