Parenting Children - September 9, 2012

Day 26 - Helping Children Make Good Choices Part II

4. Be one step ahead

• use distraction, distract your child from the issue causing conflict
• develop your own tarntlu rules to avoid regular arguments

5. Give choices

• being given choices is an important part of a child’s learning to take responsibility
• give choices over issues that are unimportant,
• Which of your toys do you want to take?" and “Do you want to play on the beach or go swimming?"
• giving choices helps to defuse conflict

6. Stay in control

• avoid being dragged into shouting matches our emotional reactions can give children a sense of power over us - like allowing them to press a "big red button" on our chests to see us react. getting angry, chasing them, getting upset
• find a way to give realistic warnings
• don't be manipulated by your child(ren)'s shouting, whining, or tantrums

Question:
How can you stay in control of yourself when faced with bad behaviour?

Related Topics: Boundaries, Children, Family, Values | More Messages from Parenting Children | Download Audio

From Series: "Parenting Children Ages 0-10"

Study Guide

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  • read each child’s way of showing anger
  • aim to teach them “expression,” rather than aggression or “suppression”
  • help them to express anger appropriately (verbally and pleasantly)
  • correct rudeness, destructive behavior, swearing, hitting others, etc. – without shutting
  • them down
  • allow them to express negative feelings: hurt, sadness, anger, etc.
  • not allowing expression or discussion can lead to passive aggressive behavior, i.e; using negative behavior to get back at parents, such as being uncommunicative, refusing to co-operate, or being deliberately annoying
  • we need to recognize if we are contributing to the problem and our child’s anger

don’t punish for being immature in expressing negative feelings

For you, what will be hardest about reacting to anger in this way?  Why?

 

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