Parenting Children - September 14, 2012

Day 31 - The Power of Listening - Part II

Show an interest

• involves effort and generosity
• listen to what appeals to your child(ren)

Avoid shutting them down

• value their ideas
• allow them to express negative feelings such as disappointments, embarrassments, sadness, anxiety, and anger.

Reflect back

• repeat back to your child what you think he or she is saying
• reflect back to your child some of his or her words, but not in parrot fashion, as that can be annoying
• concentrate on reflecting back the feelings you think your child is trying to express, e.g. it sounds like you feel upset or frustrated or sad?
• reflective listening will help your child(ren) to frame their own feelings

Question:
Complete the attached worksheet.

Related Topics: Children, Family, Listening | More Messages from Parenting Children | Download Audio

From Series: "Parenting Children Ages 0-10"

Study Guide

More From "Parenting Children Ages 0-10"

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  • read each child’s way of showing anger
  • aim to teach them “expression,” rather than aggression or “suppression”
  • help them to express anger appropriately (verbally and pleasantly)
  • correct rudeness, destructive behavior, swearing, hitting others, etc. – without shutting
  • them down
  • allow them to express negative feelings: hurt, sadness, anger, etc.
  • not allowing expression or discussion can lead to passive aggressive behavior, i.e; using negative behavior to get back at parents, such as being uncommunicative, refusing to co-operate, or being deliberately annoying
  • we need to recognize if we are contributing to the problem and our child’s anger

don’t punish for being immature in expressing negative feelings

For you, what will be hardest about reacting to anger in this way?  Why?

 

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