Parenting Children - September 18, 2012

Day 35 - Handling anger - Ours and theirs

Unhelpful reactions to anger

• some people react like a rhino - when angry, they go on the attack and express their feelings aggressively
• some people react like a hedgehog - when angry, they protect themselves and bury their feelings
• learning to control our anger
• Recognize the root of our anger
• HALT - ask: Am I Hungry, Anxious, Lonely or Tired?
• displaced anger: buried anger caused by someone in the past can come out in the present against someone else
• deal with unresolved hurt from the past through forgiveness

2. Take time out to calm down

• press the pause button • avoid jumping to conclusions

3. Label the action not the child's character
• avoid phrases like "You're so careless” or "You're so unkind”
• children can believe labels
• labeling the action helps them to change, e.g.; That was a careless thing to do" or "That was an unkind remark to make”

4. Use "I" statements to express own feelings

• helps us to avoid labeling other people
• easier for them to respond constructively
• and make changes in their behavior

Question:
Do you tend to react more like a rhino or a hedgehog? What helps you express your anger effectively? How do your children tend to react? What helps them?

From Series: "Parenting Children Ages 0-10"

Study Guide

More From "Parenting Children Ages 0-10"

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  • drip-feed information
  • answer their questions
  • use opportunities for conversations.
    • e.q: magazine articles, TV programs, films, etc.
  • talk about right and wrong touch
  • give them a helpful book to read before they reach puberty and offer to discuss it with them

How can you try to pass on your values about sex to your child(ren) as they grow up?

 

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