Parenting Children - September 9, 2012

Day 26 - Helping Children Make Good Choices Part II

Parenting Children Ages 0-10

4. Be one step ahead

• use distraction, distract your child from the issue causing conflict
• develop your own tarntlu rules to avoid regular arguments

5. Give choices

• being given choices is an important part of a child’s learning to take responsibility
• give choices over issues that are unimportant,
• Which of your toys do you want to take?" and “Do you want to play on the beach or go swimming?"
• giving choices helps to defuse conflict

6. Stay in control

• avoid being dragged into shouting matches our emotional reactions can give children a sense of power over us - like allowing them to press a "big red button" on our chests to see us react. getting angry, chasing them, getting upset
• find a way to give realistic warnings
• don't be manipulated by your child(ren)'s shouting, whining, or tantrums

Question:
How can you stay in control of yourself when faced with bad behaviour?

From Series: "Parenting Children Ages 0-10"

Study Guide

More From "Parenting Children Ages 0-10"

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  • Children learn to relate through experiencing, observing, and practicing various relationships within the family:
    • parent-child
    • mother-father
    • sibling-sibling
    • grandparent-grandchild
    • uncles, aunts, cousins, etc.
  • Experiencing: parent-child relationship
    • children learn to love through experiencing their parents. unconditional love
    • important for children to feel accepted for who they are
    • our love and acceptance give our children confidence through building in them:
      • security (knowing they are loved not for what they do, but for who they are)
      • self-worth (knowing they are of value – their self-worth is based on what they think we, their parents, think of them)
      • significance (knowing there is a purpose to their lives, and that they have a worthwhile contribution to make)
    • ultimately security, self-worth and Significance come from God
      • we model God’s parenthood of us
      • parents are in loco dei (in His place to represent Him)

Observing: mother-father (and other adult) relationships

  • children learn to relate through observing adult relationships
    • how we, their parents, speak and listen to each other
    • the physical affection we show
    • whether and how we resolve conflicts
  • children need to see firsthand the modeling of an intimate, committed adult relationship
  • if parenting together, consider doing The Marriage Course to invest in your relationship
  • if not parenting together, work at having thebest possible relationship with your child’s other parent (resolving conflict, forgiveness, consistency, etc.)

Where is your child learning most about how to build healthy relationships?

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