Marriage Course - September 20, 2012

Day 34 - What Forgiveness Is and Is Not

Marriage

Forgiveness IS NOT
• demanding a person changes before we forgive them
• pretending it doesn't matter and trying to forget about it
• thinking time alone will heal the hurt

Forgiveness IS
• facing the wrong done to us
• recognizing the emotions inside
• releasing the other person into God's hands, leaving the consequences to Him
• choosing not to hold it against our husband or wife

If we do not forgive we'll be the one imprisoned by the bitterness, resentment, and anger

Forgiveness is a process-we often need to keep forgiving for the same hurt-sometimes on a daily basis

God forgives us freely and therefore we must forgive each other freely

Start Again Together:
• begin each day with a fresh start and no backlog-tear off each page of the notebook
• don't expect healing to be instant-apology and forgiveness remove the distance between us but the hurt leaves a bruising that needs time to heal
• re-build trust by setting aside marriage time, and being gentle and kind towards each other
• pray for one another-pray aloud or silently, asking God to heal your partner of the hurt you have caused him or her

This process is like a drain that carries away the hurt

Confession to God and those we hurt, together with forgiving those who have hurt us, must become a daily habit if intimacy is to be maintained. Otherwise the drain begins to block up with unresolved hurt and anger.

Question:Ask your husband or wife to tell you one way that you can support them this week. If you feel comfortable, pray for each other – aloud or silently. Otherwise express your support in some other way.

Question 2:Complete the Worksheet found under "Study Guide"

From Series: "Marriage"

Study Guide

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If a relationship is to thrive and keep growing, we must have regular time together.

At the very least, plan to spend 1-2 hours alone together each week; to rekindle romance, to have fun, to talk together about your feelings (e.g., your hopes, fears, worries, excitements.)

We call this marriage time.

Marriage time should have all the connotations of a “date” together.

The benefits of marriage time

  • keeps the fun and romance alive in our relationship
  • deepens our understanding and appreciation of each other
  • ensures we communicate regularly on a meaningful level

Plan time together

It doesn’t happen automatically. Find the best time for you and book it in, just like you would any other social or business appointment.

Write it on your calendars e.g.; Monday evening, umarriage time” or Wednesday lunchtime, marriage time.”

If you are very busy, plan marriage time several months in advance.

Complete the Worksheet Below: