Parenting Teens - August 27, 2012

Day 11 - Love Languages

Teenagers needs the confidence that comes from knowing they are loved. Their behaviour often acts like a gauge showing how full of love their internal “emotional tank” is. Today, we introduce the concept of the five love languages as a way of expressing love to our teenagers in order for them to feel loved.

Our teenagers’ greatest need is to feel loved and accepted during this enormous transition in their lives a time of: • self- discovery • pushing for independence • much self-questioning • peer pressure

they can experience a lot of self-doubt and feel awkward and unlovable • confidence rests on: • security (knowing they are loved) • self-worth (knowing they are of value) • significance (knowing there is a purpose to their lives) • seek to keep their emotional tank" full of lOVE: • their behavior acts like the gauge to show how full of love they feel

Knowing that they are loved and accepted enables them in the long-term: • to resist peer pressure when they need to • to make good choices • to build close relationships

Discovering how our teenagers feel loved
discover the primary way each teenager feels loved, whether it's through: • time • words • touch • presents • actions

(see Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages of Teenagers) • importance of a particular love language may have changed as a child has grown older

Question:
Which of the five ways of expressing love was most important for you during your upbringing?

From Series: "Parenting Teenagers"

Study Guide

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Home is a place where teenagers learn how to build healthy relationships.

  • Teenagers learn to relate through observing adult relationships
  • If parenting together, invest in your relationship (take our marriage course!)
  • If parenting on your own, build the best relationship you can with the other parent, when possible
  • Nurture other adult friendships
  • Mealtimes together – teenagers learn to talk, listen, debate issues, and respect others’ views
  • Regular family time – having fun together ias a family helps build relationships between parents and children and between siblings (consider having a weekly “family night”)

How can you intentionally model healthy relationships with others in your life, for your teenager to learn from?