Parenting Children - September 18, 2012
Day 35 - Handling anger - Ours and theirs
Unhelpful reactions to anger
• some people react like a rhino - when angry, they go on the attack and express their feelings aggressively
• some people react like a hedgehog - when angry, they protect themselves and bury their feelings
• learning to control our anger
• Recognize the root of our anger
• HALT - ask: Am I Hungry, Anxious, Lonely or Tired?
• displaced anger: buried anger caused by someone in the past can come out in the present against someone else
• deal with unresolved hurt from the past through forgiveness
2. Take time out to calm down
• press the pause button • avoid jumping to conclusions
3. Label the action not the child's character
• avoid phrases like "You're so careless” or "You're so unkind”
• children can believe labels
• labeling the action helps them to change, e.g.; That was a careless thing to do" or "That was an unkind remark to make”
4. Use "I" statements to express own feelings
• helps us to avoid labeling other people
• easier for them to respond constructively
• and make changes in their behavior
Do you tend to react more like a rhino or a hedgehog? What helps you express your anger effectively? How do your children tend to react? What helps them?
From Series: "Parenting Children Ages 0-10"
More From "Parenting Children Ages 0-10"
|About the Parenting Children Course||July 1, 2012||Watch||Listen|
|Day 1 - Introduction||August 13, 2012||Watch||Listen|
|Day 2 - Challenges||August 14, 2012||Watch||Listen|
|Day 3 – Family Provides Support||August 15, 2012||Watch||Listen|
|Day 4 – Family Provides Fun & A Moral Compass||August 16, 2012||Watch||Listen|
|Day 5 – Experiencing & Observing Healthy Relationships||August 17, 2012||Watch||Listen|
|Day 6 – Practicing Healthy Relationships (and Parenting Alone)||August 18, 2012||Watch||Listen|
|Day 7 – Setting Goals and The Importance of Play||August 19, 2012||Watch||Listen|
|Day 8 – Screentime||August 20, 2012||Watch||Listen|
|Day 9 – The Importance of Bonding||August 21, 2012||Watch||Listen|