When people ask you how you’re doing – have you every included the word “busy” in your answer?
One NY Times article called “The Busy Trap” that went viral commented, “It’s become the default response when you ask anyone how they’re doing: “Busy!” “So busy.” “Crazy busy.””
Notice it isn’t generally people pulling back-to-back shifts in the I.C.U. or commuting by bus to three minimum-wage jobs who tell you how busy they are; what those people are is not busy but tired. Exhausted. Dead on their feet. It’s almost always people whose lamented busyness is purely self-imposed: work and obligations they’ve taken on voluntarily, classes and activities they’ve “encouraged” their kids to participate in. They’re busy because of their own ambition or drive or anxiety, because they’re addicted to busyness and dread what they might have to face in its absence.
Yes, for most of us, busyness is a choice, and we kind of like it!
But what are its consequences?
One psychiatrist listed a few:
It is so easy with cellphones and BlackBerrys a touch away.
It is a kind of high.
It is a status symbol.
We’re afraid we’ll be left out if we slow down.
We avoid dealing with life’s really big issues — death, global warming, AIDS, terrorism — by running from task to task.
We do not know how not to be busy.
There are many, but we’ll focus today on the consequence for our neighbours, since Jesus said this was so important.
When I first moved to Ajax, it naturally took a little time to meet all our neighbours. Most memorably, two distinct families said the same thing when they met us. One said, “I’m really sorry we’re just meeting you, I had made cakepops for you guys, but then got too busy to bring them over.” Another said the same thing, “my wife was going to bake a pie to welcome you, but we got too busy.”
It’s heartbreaking – firstly because I could have had some excellent desserts, but also because it’s obvious how hectic our lifestyles can be, and how it inhibits forming lifegiving relationships.
Question: On a scale from 1 to 10 how busy is your life right now?
Loading Content...
Share a Link to this Message
The link has been copied to your clipboard; paste it anywhere you would like to share it.
Another extreme approach, in addition to those we saw yesterday, is to see work as something to avoid at all costs. It’s not a new sentiment – many have seen work as a necessary evil in history. The Greek Philosopher Aristotle saw the ability to live without having to work as a primary qualification for a worthwhile life.
Some try to work themselves as hard as possible to get to retirement, financial independence, partner, or some other goal as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, life is seldom forgiving of such imbalance. I once met a recently retired school bus driver. He’d worked hard at a number of difficult jobs in his life, and had just retired to live the good life. Unfortunately he discovered at the same time that his health was failing, and he was going blind and deaf in the process.
He’d worked himself so hard, thinking the promised land was coming, ignoring his children and grandchildren by his own admission. All that time, he didn’t notice he was supposed to live life and rest along the way, not just at the end. No one ever promised or owed him a certain kind of retirement – yet he’d gambled his health and youth on just such a fantasy.
Work isn’t fulfilling, without work in balance. Rest isn’t fulfilling, except in balance with work.
That isn’t to say there won’t be seasons of busy, hard work when rest is hard to find. Starting a busyiness, residency, apprenticeship, times you need extra cash, all need hard work. But we need to balance those times with seasons of rest, as well. Don’t expect it will always come later.
For example, at one time a goal for early, luxurious retirement was a million in assets – but inflation means that a million isn’t worth what it used to be. Look at Toronto real estate. If that had been your goal, it quickly inflated out of reach.
Another example is retirement age – many people thought they just had to make it to age 65. Now suddenly the normal retirement age is two years later, at age 67. By the time I retire, who knows where it will be! If that age was my goal, it only took an act of parliament to snatch it away. Such numerical goals keep changing, and can’t be our true purpose in life.
Question: When will you know it’s time to retire? How much will you need to save, what will you need to accomplish? Will you ever retire?
