Last week, I told you story of my old neighbour who helped build a deck.  He nicely represented the transition from strangers to neighbours to acquaintances to partners.  Today we’ll go one step further.  We’ll talk about becoming friends with those we work with, those we help, and those we live around.

When I was a volunteer paramedic, I remember one partner in particular.  We did several shifts together, and on calls he was always nervous, and second-guessing himself, which could be challenging to work with.  One day, he invited me to supper.  I met his family, saw his home and farm, and in the process learned about him and his values.  The next shift we had together was different.  I found we could communicate better, and I could anticipate his moves.  Debriefing the call afterwards was easier.  I knew this quirks, where they came from, and could work from a place of partnership and friendship rather than tolerance.

This has wider application than the workplace, but some good examples of how important this is follow from a few studies:

50 percent of employees with a best friend at work reported that they feel a strong connection with their company, compared to just 10 percent of employees without a best friend at work.  (A 2012 Gallup report which found that)

People planning to stick with their current job cited “good relationship with co-workers” as the major reason (67%) – above “job satisfaction” (63%), “flexible working arrangements” (57%) and even salary (which ranked seventh at 46%).  A 2013 survey of 2,223 business people across Australia

In the same way, being a follower of Jesus isn’t just about doing transactions, like dealing with other followers of Jesus because you have to, or caring for others in need simply because it looks good.

We’re actually meant to become friends with those we care for, and those we care with.  Not every single one to the same degree maybe, but we are actually meant to have a relationship with those we encounter in this life, and not simply use people or tolerate others.

We’ll focus this week on those we care for, those we’ve been talking about all along, and becoming friends.

Question: When have you unexpectedly “hit it off” with someone at work?

Ryan Sim - May 13, 2013

Monday - A New Idea - Forgiveness

On the news last week, we heard about how no one wants the body of Tamerlan Tsarnaev, the deceased suspect in the Boston Marathon Bombings. No cemetery seems to want the body, and the funeral director is under attack for his involvement. You can hear the anger in people’s voices. They cannot forgive this man for trying to kill them, their friends, their families. One man said, “dump him off a boat like Bin Laden”. Maybe it would be different if he was alive, and people could tell him off, see him stand trial, explain his deeds, and see him convicted and put away. But they can’t – he’s dead, and so they can only try to deny him a proper burial – many seem unable to forgive this man. A few columns and blogs here and there have spoken of forgiveness. You can tell it’s hard – more often than not you can tell they wish they could hate, but are held back by something, someone, who compels them to go against their baser instincts and forgive someone who they want to hate. Question: Can you forgive someone who won’t apologize, or forgive you? Why or why not? One example of a blog advocating forgiveness: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rev-martha-r-jacobs/is-a-person-bad-or-does-a-person-choose-to-do-bad-things_b_3200740.html

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