Last week, I told you story of my old neighbour who helped build a deck. He nicely represented the transition from strangers to neighbours to acquaintances to partners. Today we’ll go one step further. We’ll talk about becoming friends with those we work with, those we help, and those we live around.
When I was a volunteer paramedic, I remember one partner in particular. We did several shifts together, and on calls he was always nervous, and second-guessing himself, which could be challenging to work with. One day, he invited me to supper. I met his family, saw his home and farm, and in the process learned about him and his values. The next shift we had together was different. I found we could communicate better, and I could anticipate his moves. Debriefing the call afterwards was easier. I knew this quirks, where they came from, and could work from a place of partnership and friendship rather than tolerance.
This has wider application than the workplace, but some good examples of how important this is follow from a few studies:
50 percent of employees with a best friend at work reported that they feel a strong connection with their company, compared to just 10 percent of employees without a best friend at work. (A 2012 Gallup report which found that)
People planning to stick with their current job cited “good relationship with co-workers” as the major reason (67%) – above “job satisfaction” (63%), “flexible working arrangements” (57%) and even salary (which ranked seventh at 46%). A 2013 survey of 2,223 business people across Australia
In the same way, being a follower of Jesus isn’t just about doing transactions, like dealing with other followers of Jesus because you have to, or caring for others in need simply because it looks good.
We’re actually meant to become friends with those we care for, and those we care with. Not every single one to the same degree maybe, but we are actually meant to have a relationship with those we encounter in this life, and not simply use people or tolerate others.
We’ll focus this week on those we care for, those we’ve been talking about all along, and becoming friends.
Question: When have you unexpectedly “hit it off” with someone at work?
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Jesus always has the Pharisees, or religious lawyers, in mind as he teaches.
Pharisees were essentially seeking a checklist of laws they can work through.
Jesus says that wasn’t the point of the law. Look back to the beatitudes, the content that we started this series with. Jesus was always expanding the law to look at our motivations, not just outward actions we can check off our do/don't do list.
It's a good thing, because we know life isn’t like that. Life throws stituations at all of us that we never anticipated, and could never have listed in advance.
Jesus describes keeping God’s law with this line: So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.
He goes on to recognize, this is no checklist, this is very difficult: narrow gate to pass through.
Baggage doesn’t fit. All your religious background, credentials, money, power, etc. all get left behind if you want to go through this gate.
Every human can go through this door if we are willing to let go of all the sin baggage that keeps us from God.
The narrow path – or the cramped path – does not allow us to take with us the things we can carry on the broad path. What are those things?
Our failure to live this way, to go through Jesus’ narrow door, is due to our self-centeredness.
We are instinctively self-centered, self-loving. Fall.
40% of millenials say that "being self-promoting, narcissistic, overconfident, and attention-seeking is helpful for succeeding in a competitive world."
Almost 80% say that their friends use social media for those reasons.
So Jesus uses that against us. Uses our self-love to love others. He redeems our self-love.
Self-love is powerful. Usually our guide – now Jesus says it’s for others, too.
Jesus calls us to an awareness of others as God’s beloved children, too.
We’re not the only ones.
Prevents need for endless rules for every situation. Put self in other’s shoes.
Question: Describe the most self-centered person you know. What do you have in common with them? What characteristics do you share? Why is this so hard to admit?
