Last week, I told you story of my old neighbour who helped build a deck. He nicely represented the transition from strangers to neighbours to acquaintances to partners. Today we’ll go one step further. We’ll talk about becoming friends with those we work with, those we help, and those we live around.
When I was a volunteer paramedic, I remember one partner in particular. We did several shifts together, and on calls he was always nervous, and second-guessing himself, which could be challenging to work with. One day, he invited me to supper. I met his family, saw his home and farm, and in the process learned about him and his values. The next shift we had together was different. I found we could communicate better, and I could anticipate his moves. Debriefing the call afterwards was easier. I knew this quirks, where they came from, and could work from a place of partnership and friendship rather than tolerance.
This has wider application than the workplace, but some good examples of how important this is follow from a few studies:
50 percent of employees with a best friend at work reported that they feel a strong connection with their company, compared to just 10 percent of employees without a best friend at work. (A 2012 Gallup report which found that)
People planning to stick with their current job cited “good relationship with co-workers” as the major reason (67%) – above “job satisfaction” (63%), “flexible working arrangements” (57%) and even salary (which ranked seventh at 46%). A 2013 survey of 2,223 business people across Australia
In the same way, being a follower of Jesus isn’t just about doing transactions, like dealing with other followers of Jesus because you have to, or caring for others in need simply because it looks good.
We’re actually meant to become friends with those we care for, and those we care with. Not every single one to the same degree maybe, but we are actually meant to have a relationship with those we encounter in this life, and not simply use people or tolerate others.
We’ll focus this week on those we care for, those we’ve been talking about all along, and becoming friends.
Question: When have you unexpectedly “hit it off” with someone at work?
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“Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few. (Matthew 7:13-14 ESV)
Which way will you go? Follow the law to keep in a right position, watching what you do? People will try to tell you their way to please God, go to heaven, to be a good person, etc.
Or will you go the hard way, relying on God’s grace alone? We can’t take anything with us through the narrow gate.
Only a few make it through, it's true enough. Everyone can avoid hurting others. But can you love others? That's hard.
Thankfully Jesus has gone ahead. He is the door. The way. He doesn't just avoid sin, he loves sacrificially, to the death.
He uses death to destroy death. He uses self-love to teach us to love others. His power and genius!
Others will tell you, “here’s what not to do, and do, to reach God.”
Jesus says God reaches us…and he is the door, the gate, who lays down everything to love sacrificially.
He gave us his love, rather than what we deserved, death.
How? You start with God. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is this: Love your neighbour as yourself.
God helps us see ourselves clearly, destroys our self-centeredness, then teaches us to love others.
Challenge: Make a list of the ways you like to be treated. Not just favourite flavours and colours, but what helps you relate well with people. Now consider, who will you see today, whom you do not treat in this way? Pick one of those list items, and change that today.
