It seems like every sitcom shares a feature: friends just come and go, they seldom knock or call first. Think of Friends – the characters simply came and went. You might think Seinfeld was an exception, with George and Elaine buzzing from the lobby, but don’t forget how Jerry’s neighbour Kramer just tumbles in the door. I’m sure to some degree this is about writing a good script – you can’t have a lot of down time waiting for people to answer the doorbell. But it also communicates something about the depth of their friendship.
Some researchers say these kinds of friends have what’s called refrigerator rights. The term comes from a book of the same name, but you may have heard it in pop culture, too. It defines a close relationship, where even though they don’t live there, a friend is able to come and go at will, and even eat from the other’s fridge without asking. It’s a high level of friendship.
For some people, maybe that seems natural enough. You grew up with it, perhaps. But for others, it bothers you. You might think it’s awkward, too intimate, or too trusting. You might ask, “What if I needed those leftovers for lunch tomorrow? What if that dessert was for a party? What if you come in my house while I’m in the shower, sleeping, or arguing with my spouse?”
The lines between family and friend are starting to blur in that kind of relationship. That’s the shift we’re going to explore this week in our pursuit of becoming great neighbours. We’ll look at the relationships with our neighbours that go deepest – where we become like family, with a focused, high level of friendship.
Question: How do you react to people having “refrigerator rights” in your house? Would you love more relationships that close, or are you a bit nervous?
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CloseRyan Sim - May 28, 2014
Wednesday - Change It - Pioneer Practices
Yesterday, we read this: And they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles. And all who believed were together and had all things in common. And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved. (Acts 2:42-47 ESV) Yesterday we focused on the first two practices: Devotion to the Apostles’ Teaching and Fellowship, and the Breaking of the Bread. Today we’ll look into the other two: The Prayers Their community started this way at Jesus’ command: wait and pray for the Holy Spirit. They had a big mission, to spread his good news worldwide, and would need the Holy Spirit to make it possible. Their continued existence would require prayer, especially as they faced persecution and alienation. Their Jewish tradition of temple worship and sacrifices for individual sin was transformed into Christian prayer in the temple. All Acts says here is that they were attending the temple. It says nothing about them continuing the sacrifices, and it seems likely they would have no more sacrifices, since Jesus was descrbied in the Book of Hebrews as the ultimate sacrifice for sin. No evidence they participated in the sacrifices, but they seem to have prayed there, which was incredibly bold and dangerous. Common Life They had all things in common. That could mean a lot of things, but it goes on to say they were selling their possessions and distributing the proceeds to those in need. This is controversial, of course, because it makes us wonder if we need to do the same. First, did they do what we think we read here? Well, note that it says they were “selling” instead of “sold”. There seems to be an ongoing activity of supporting each other as needs arose, not a one time liquidation. Secondly, note that they broke bread in their homes, which means some still had a home. They didn’t all become homeless, even though Jesus was. Surely some did, but not all. Whatever the details, it’s clear they suddenly saw their possessions differently, or at least the needs of others. They became generous in a new way. Surely that endures as a principle to hold today, however it’s expressed, in vows of poverty or in opening one’s home to a friend in need. Question: To what extent does your attitude toward your possessions reflect theirs?
Related Topics: Early Church, Generosity, Holy Spirit, Pioneer, Practices, Prayer | More Messages from Ryan Sim | Download Audio
From Series: "Pioneer Story"
We read through the Book of Acts as a Pioneer Story for the church.
More Messages From Ryan Sim...
Friday - Reflect - Structured Rest | September 11, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
Thursday - Act On It - Structured Rest | September 10, 2015 | Interview | Watch | Listen | |
Wednesday - Change It - Structured Rest | September 9, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
Tuesday - Study It - Structured Rest | September 8, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
Monday - A New Idea - Structured Rest | September 7, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
Friday - Reflect - Inner Rest | September 4, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
Thursday - Act On It - Inner Rest | September 3, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
Wednesday - Change It - Inner Rest | September 2, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
Tuesday - Study It - Inner Rest | September 1, 2015 | Extra | Watch | Listen | |
Monday - A New Idea - Inner Rest | August 31, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
Friday - Reflect - Finding Rest | August 28, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
Thursday - Act On It - Finding Rest | August 27, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
Wednesday - Change It - Finding Rest | August 26, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
Tuesday - Study It - Finding Rest | August 25, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
Monday - A New Idea - Finding Rest | August 24, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
Friday - Reflect - We Need Rest | August 21, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
Thursday - Act On It - We Need Rest | August 20, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
Wednesday - Change It - We Need Rest | August 19, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
Tuesday - Study It - We Need Rest | August 18, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
Monday - A New Idea - We Need Rest | August 17, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
Friday - Reflect - Working Well | August 14, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
Thursday - Act On It - Working Well | August 13, 2015 | Extra | Watch | Listen | |
Wednesday - Change It - Working Well | August 12, 2015 | Extra | Watch | Listen | |
Tuesday - Study It - Working Well | August 11, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
Monday - A New Idea - Working Well | August 10, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
Friday - Reflect - Working Badly | August 7, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
Thursday - Act On It - Working Badly | August 6, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
Wednesday - Change It - Working Badly | August 5, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
Tuesday - Study It - Working Badly | August 4, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
Monday - A New Idea - Working Badly | August 3, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
Friday - Reflect - We Need Work | July 31, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
Thursday - Act On It - We Need Work | July 30, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
Wednesday - Change It - We Need Work | July 29, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
Tuesday - Study It - We Need Work | July 28, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
Monday - A New Idea - We Need Work | July 27, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
2015 Status Update - Friday | July 24, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
2015 Status Update - Thursday | July 23, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
2015 Status Update - Wednesday | July 22, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
2015 Status Update - Tuesday | July 21, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
2015 Status Update - Monday | July 20, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Nehemiah - Friday | July 17, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Nehemiah - Thursday | July 16, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Nehemiah - Wednesday | July 15, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Nehemiah - Tuesday | July 14, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Nehemiah - Monday | July 13, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Esther - Friday | July 10, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Esther - Thursday | July 9, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Esther - Wednesday | July 8, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Esther - Tuesday | July 7, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Esther - Monday | July 6, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Ezekiel - Friday | July 3, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Ezekiel - Thursday | July 2, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Ezekiel - Wednesday | July 1, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Ezekiel - Tuesday | June 30, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Ezekiel - Monday | June 29, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Son of Man - Friday | June 26, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Son of Man - Thursday | June 25, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Son of Man - Wednesday | June 24, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Son of Man - Tuesday | June 23, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Son of Man - Monday | June 22, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: God in the Fiery Furnace - Friday | June 19, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: God in the Fiery Furnace - Thursday | June 18, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: God in the Fiery Furnace - Wednesday | June 17, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: God in the Fiery Furnace - Tuesday | June 16, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: God in the Fiery Furnace - Monday | June 15, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Jeremiah - Friday | June 12, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Jeremiah - Thursday | June 11, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Jeremiah - Wednesday | June 10, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Jeremiah - Tuesday | June 9, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Jeremiah - Monday | June 8, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Jonah - Friday | June 5, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Jonah - Thursday | June 4, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Jonah - Wednesday | June 3, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Jonah - Tuesday | June 2, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Jonah - Monday | June 1, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Isaiah - Friday | May 29, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Isaiah - Thursday | May 28, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Isaiah - Wednesday | May 27, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Isaiah - Tuesday | May 26, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Isaiah - Monday | May 25, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: David & Goliath - Friday | May 22, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: David & Goliath - Thursday | May 21, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: David & Goliath - Wednesday | May 20, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: David & Goliath - Tuesday | May 19, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: David & Goliath - Monday | May 18, 2015 | Gladwell | Watch | Listen | |
EPIC: David Anointed King - Friday | May 15, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: David Anointed King - Thursday | May 14, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: David Anointed King - Wednesday | May 13, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: David Anointed King - Tuesday | May 12, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: David Anointed King - Monday | May 11, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Ruth and Naomi - Friday | May 8, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Ruth and Naomi - Thursday | May 7, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Ruth and Naomi - Wednesday | May 6, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Ruth and Naomi - Tuesday | May 5, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Ruth and Naomi - Monday | May 4, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Ten Commandments - Friday | May 1, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Ten Commandments - Thursday | April 30, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Ten Commandments - Wednesday | April 29, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Ten Commandments - Tuesday | April 28, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Ten Commandments - Monday | April 27, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Red Sea - Friday | April 24, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Red Sea - Thursday | April 23, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Red Sea - Wednesday | April 22, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Red Sea - Tuesday | April 21, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Red Sea - Monday | April 20, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Cloud & Fire - Friday | April 17, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Cloud & Fire - Thursday | April 16, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Cloud & Fire - Wednesday | April 15, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Cloud & Fire - Tuesday | April 14, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Cloud & Fire - Monday | April 13, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: The Passover - Friday | April 10, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: The Passover - Thursday | April 9, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: The Passover - Wednesday | April 8, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: The Passover - Tuesday | April 7, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: The Passover - Monday | April 6, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Moses & Pharaoh II - Friday | April 3, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Moses & Pharaoh II - Thursday | April 2, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Moses & Pharaoh II - Wednesday | April 1, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Moses & Pharaoh II - Tuesday | March 31, 2015 | Watch | Listen | ||
EPIC: Moses & Pharaoh II - Monday | March 30, 2015 | Watch | Listen |