It seems like every sitcom shares a feature: friends just come and go, they seldom knock or call first.  Think of Friends – the characters simply came and went.  You might think Seinfeld was an exception, with George and Elaine buzzing from the lobby, but don’t forget how Jerry’s neighbour Kramer just tumbles in the door.  I’m sure to some degree this is about writing a good script – you can’t have a lot of down time waiting for people to answer the doorbell.  But it also communicates something about the depth of their friendship.

Some researchers say these kinds of friends have what’s called refrigerator rights.  The term comes from a book of the same name, but you may have heard it in pop culture, too.  It defines a close relationship, where even though they don’t live there, a friend is able to come and go at will, and even eat from the other’s fridge without asking.  It’s a high level of friendship.

For some people, maybe that seems natural enough.  You grew up with it, perhaps.  But for others, it bothers you.  You might think it’s awkward, too intimate, or too trusting.  You might ask, “What if I needed those leftovers for lunch tomorrow?  What if that dessert was for a party?  What if you come in my house while I’m in the shower, sleeping, or arguing with my spouse?”

The lines between family and friend are starting to blur in that kind of relationship.  That’s the shift we’re going to explore this week in our pursuit of becoming great neighbours.  We’ll look at the relationships with our neighbours that go deepest – where we become like family, with a focused, high level of friendship.

Question: How do you react to people having “refrigerator rights” in your house?  Would you love more relationships that close, or are you a bit nervous?

Ryan Sim - July 4, 2013

Thursday - Act On It - Knowing

So far this week, we've seen that Christian faith is not about just the words you say, and not just about deeds you do. If it were, then Christian faith would be like trying to get to know a celebrity - you would either be guessing the right passcode to get through their mansion gates, or you'd be trying to hop the fence. It would be easy to know about the celebrity, and never really know them. But thankfully, God is not like a celebrity who keeps a safe distance from his fans. In Jesus, God came to earth. He didn’t have to, but he passed through those gates into our world and made it possible for us to know him personally. God took on human flesh, clothed in the way people were clothed in first century Israel, and spoke their language. We can actually know God, who came to earth in Jesus, and is active today through his Holy Spirit. Even though Jesus died and rose and since returned to heaven, we can still know him by studying his words, communicating with him in prayer, and with the community he calls his body on earth – the church. Like the one we are forming in Ajax in Durham Region just East of Toronto. The saying is true: it's not about what you know, or do, it’s about who you know. Who you know, will then affect what you say and do. Words and deeds are important, but are no substitute for the full picture of life in God's kingdom given in the Sermon on the Mount. It's about actually following who you say you follow. Inviting him to transform life…not just saying he does. The aim is to have him transform our hearts, so they look more like his. How do we know? That’s what Jesus has been teaching all through the Sermon on the Mount. He's been describing what God’s heart looks like, and wants your heart to look like, so that it transforms the rest of your life. The health of your actual heart matters – blood passes through to all areas of the body. An unhealthy heart means unhealthy life. No matter how healthy you appear, you aren’t healthy if your heart is hurting. God wants to transform the heart of our lives, so all other areas of life get healthy. And he warns us that starting with our words and actions will result in failure. It starts with openness to Jesus…a willing submission to his will. Challenge: List some ways to intentionally get to know a new friend, neighbour or colleague better. Now list ways you can intentionally get to know Jesus better. Pick one from each list and try it today.

From Series: Sermon on the Mount | More Messages from Ryan Sim | Download Audio

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