It seems like every sitcom shares a feature: friends just come and go, they seldom knock or call first.  Think of Friends – the characters simply came and went.  You might think Seinfeld was an exception, with George and Elaine buzzing from the lobby, but don’t forget how Jerry’s neighbour Kramer just tumbles in the door.  I’m sure to some degree this is about writing a good script – you can’t have a lot of down time waiting for people to answer the doorbell.  But it also communicates something about the depth of their friendship.

Some researchers say these kinds of friends have what’s called refrigerator rights.  The term comes from a book of the same name, but you may have heard it in pop culture, too.  It defines a close relationship, where even though they don’t live there, a friend is able to come and go at will, and even eat from the other’s fridge without asking.  It’s a high level of friendship.

For some people, maybe that seems natural enough.  You grew up with it, perhaps.  But for others, it bothers you.  You might think it’s awkward, too intimate, or too trusting.  You might ask, “What if I needed those leftovers for lunch tomorrow?  What if that dessert was for a party?  What if you come in my house while I’m in the shower, sleeping, or arguing with my spouse?”

The lines between family and friend are starting to blur in that kind of relationship.  That’s the shift we’re going to explore this week in our pursuit of becoming great neighbours.  We’ll look at the relationships with our neighbours that go deepest – where we become like family, with a focused, high level of friendship.

Question: How do you react to people having “refrigerator rights” in your house?  Would you love more relationships that close, or are you a bit nervous?

Ryan Sim - May 1, 2013

Wednesday - Change It - Pompous Prayer

Sermon on the Mount

Jesus is challenging those who pray in public in order to get ahead, to look religious. He says they got the reward they wanted, immediately. People saw them, were impressed. Done. Problem is, empty reward. What is God's reward for prayer? It's him. A relationship with him. This happens to be what true prayer is about anyway…talking to God…spending time with him. God makes himself, the reward, available to all who will receive him. Closet prayer is like training, shutting out all ulterior motives until we learn to pray for God alone. God is the best spectator for prayer - he sees prayer and motive. Even the worst prayer - God sees the right motive. Even the best prayer - God sees the wrong motive. The word "closet" in this reading is not where someone kept their clothes. It comes from the Greek "tameion" which means storeroom. This suggests there are immediate "treasures" when you pray for God alone. When we pray for God and God alone, we are seeking God, and he is ready and willing to hold up his side of the relationship by giving us what we were seeking. When we pray for others to see, we’re clearly not seeking God but our own benefit, so he gives us that reward we sought, but that's all. If we want applause, he says we can have it. But we're settling for second best. I once got a phone call, informing me that someone was taking Christianity 101 student because he wanted to be baptized in hopes it would helps him immigration case. In the end, I was happy for him to take the course, and would even baptize him if he decided to follow Jesus as his Lord. Those things are highly rewarding in and of themselves! An eternal relationship with God through Jesus Christ – nothing is more rewarding. What about the immigration thing? I doubt it would have helped. One might have a case as a persecuted refugee if they were a baptized Christian at home, before coming to Canada. But immigration authorities probably wouldn’t care if he was baptized in Canada last year. If he took my course, and was baptized, all because he wanted to improve his chances at immigration, he would quickly discover it was an empty reward, nowhere near as good as the real reward. We settle for second best sometimes. We pursue rewards in life, on earth, when we could be pursuing rewards in heaven! We can do this with prayer. We say a bunch of things about God, and call it prayer, when we could be talking to God. We say some words we don’t really believe, simply because someone told us we should. Question: Have you ever tried to regularly spend time in prayer alone with God? What did you find easy comfortable, or difficult and uncomfortable about the experience?

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