It seems like every sitcom shares a feature: friends just come and go, they seldom knock or call first.  Think of Friends – the characters simply came and went.  You might think Seinfeld was an exception, with George and Elaine buzzing from the lobby, but don’t forget how Jerry’s neighbour Kramer just tumbles in the door.  I’m sure to some degree this is about writing a good script – you can’t have a lot of down time waiting for people to answer the doorbell.  But it also communicates something about the depth of their friendship.

Some researchers say these kinds of friends have what’s called refrigerator rights.  The term comes from a book of the same name, but you may have heard it in pop culture, too.  It defines a close relationship, where even though they don’t live there, a friend is able to come and go at will, and even eat from the other’s fridge without asking.  It’s a high level of friendship.

For some people, maybe that seems natural enough.  You grew up with it, perhaps.  But for others, it bothers you.  You might think it’s awkward, too intimate, or too trusting.  You might ask, “What if I needed those leftovers for lunch tomorrow?  What if that dessert was for a party?  What if you come in my house while I’m in the shower, sleeping, or arguing with my spouse?”

The lines between family and friend are starting to blur in that kind of relationship.  That’s the shift we’re going to explore this week in our pursuit of becoming great neighbours.  We’ll look at the relationships with our neighbours that go deepest – where we become like family, with a focused, high level of friendship.

Question: How do you react to people having “refrigerator rights” in your house?  Would you love more relationships that close, or are you a bit nervous?

Ryan Sim - June 11, 2013

Tuesday - Study It - Needs

Jesus said this about our needs in life, and God’s care for those needs: “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him! (Matthew 7:7-11 ESV) It’s a very poetic part of Jesus’ sermon on the mount, both in its beauty, but also in its depth of meaning. Yet it’s easily misused or misunderstood. It sounds like a foolproof formula for prayer that he repeats several times. It’s easy to come away thinking God is like a vending machine – put in a prayer, make your selection, and God has to give it to you. But simple logic says it can’t mean that. We don’t all get what we want all the time. But Jesus was not saying God was a vending machine, he said God was like a Father. He may not be like your Father, or any other on earth, rather the Father's love is like the ideal parent, the one that all human parents are measured against. Only a sick parent would delight in harming their child. When a child needs food – we should try to get them food. Of course, parents don’t give their child every unhealthy threat they request – good parents give healthy food and treats in moderation. God has not promised to fulfill our wildest dreams of Porsches and Prada. He speaks about our needs…necessities. And not necessarily the modern definition of a need! Question: How have you personally treated prayer like a formula or vending machine, or seen others do the same?

Related Topics: Needs, Prayer | More Messages from Ryan Sim | Download Audio

From Series: "Sermon on the Mount"

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