It seems like every sitcom shares a feature: friends just come and go, they seldom knock or call first. Think of Friends – the characters simply came and went. You might think Seinfeld was an exception, with George and Elaine buzzing from the lobby, but don’t forget how Jerry’s neighbour Kramer just tumbles in the door. I’m sure to some degree this is about writing a good script – you can’t have a lot of down time waiting for people to answer the doorbell. But it also communicates something about the depth of their friendship.
Some researchers say these kinds of friends have what’s called refrigerator rights. The term comes from a book of the same name, but you may have heard it in pop culture, too. It defines a close relationship, where even though they don’t live there, a friend is able to come and go at will, and even eat from the other’s fridge without asking. It’s a high level of friendship.
For some people, maybe that seems natural enough. You grew up with it, perhaps. But for others, it bothers you. You might think it’s awkward, too intimate, or too trusting. You might ask, “What if I needed those leftovers for lunch tomorrow? What if that dessert was for a party? What if you come in my house while I’m in the shower, sleeping, or arguing with my spouse?”
The lines between family and friend are starting to blur in that kind of relationship. That’s the shift we’re going to explore this week in our pursuit of becoming great neighbours. We’ll look at the relationships with our neighbours that go deepest – where we become like family, with a focused, high level of friendship.
Question: How do you react to people having “refrigerator rights” in your house? Would you love more relationships that close, or are you a bit nervous?
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So what does it mean to do the will of our father in heaven, as a family of followers of Jesus? How do our values impact our routines and traditions as we develop into a church family?
One example that will guide us for the rest of this series comes from this description in the book of Acts, which tells the story of the first followers of Jesus organizing their extended family after Jesus died, rose and left the earth.
42 And they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. 43 And awe[e] came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles. 44 And all who believed were together and had all things in common. 45 And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. 46 And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, 47 praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved.
Five main elements devoted to:
Growth in Discipleship – They shared some teaching and belief in common with each other, and those who knew Jesus, the apostles.
Groups in Community –They were together regularly.
Grace in Lifestyle – They gained favour with all the people through their changed hearts
Generosity of Resources – They were selling and sharing their possessions to ensure no one was in need.
God in Worship – They regularly attended temple worship, and were breaking bread in homes in keeping with Jesus’ instructions from the night before he died
We’ll explore each of these things in depth these next few weeks, because these are the same things our church community will be devoted to. We will try to keep it well rounded, and not just focus on one thing or another.
Challenge: Rank these from easiest to hardest for you.
