We asked yesterday if you could list of what comes to mind when you hear the word “church”. Our lists probably included buildings, events and services. It may have included organ and choir music, stained glass windows, dusty books, bake sales and more. It may evoke good experiences, or bad ones.
But not how the Bible usually sees “church”. Church is described in several cases as a family. This is why our vision is to become a church made up of many groups who are “like family” with one another.
But you might immediately think this means something strange and cultish, usually because our ideas of family today is pretty narrow. We think of family as the nuclear, immediate family in isolation.
But in Jesus’ culture, in some cultures today, and not so long ago in Western culture, the family was the word used more naturally to describe an extended network of relations, often living in the same area.
That was the context for family in Jesus’ day, and Jesus had plans to develop a new kind of extended family. Here’s a striking moment when he described his plans to create an alternate family:
Matthew 12:46-50 While he was still speaking to the people, behold, his mother and his brothers stood outside, asking to speak to him. But he replied to the man who told him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”
On the one hand, it seems Jesus just put down his mother. I just saw “Guilt Trip” where Barbra Streisand plays Seth Rogen’s overbearing mother. She calls several times a day, tries to get him to drink water constantly, and so on. In the middle of their road trip, he finally snaps, and tells her off.
It seems like that might be what Jesus is doing to his mother here. Is he putting her down, in his plans to join another family? Look at it another way. Jesus is actually elevating his disciples to family status. His followers, fellow practitioners of his kingdom, are his family.
She’s not excluded. Later in the story of Jesus’ life and death, we see Mary his mother appearing as a devoted member of this extended family, and Jesus even assigns one of the disciples to look after her after his death, saying he’s her new son, and vice versa.
Jesus isn’t narrowing his definition of family to exclude blood relatives. He’s broadening it, to include his extended family of followers as if they are blood relatives.
Question: Imagine your immediate family suddenly adopting a dozen new members. How would it change your way of life? What would be the pros and cons?
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One friend, speaking on this passage, gave this advice: When in conflict, we typically assume it's 80% their fault, 20% ours. But approach the argument as if it's the opposite, since that’s how the other person sees it!
Jesus said, "You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye."
It's a ridiculous image. But usually we can recognize some truth in it. It's embarassing for us, because we know it's something we've done. Story of someone driving down road, sketchy people, judging them. Reazlizes speeding! “They might be breaking, or planning to break the law, but I am 100% guilty!”
We don’t judge ourselves by the same standards we use for others. It's right in the log and speck imagery: We are the worst possible eye surgeon, but ready to give it a try all the same.
Specks are not harmless – don’t ignore one! Left alone in our own eye, or anyone else's, they become inflamed irritants…you are a bad friend if you ignore the speck in someone else's eye.
But to be that good friend, first take log out of your own eye - approach other person with humility and self-awareness.
Jesus' death on the cross is central. It allows us to become aware of brokenness and sin - we needed Jesus to die for us. This can help us believe we are no better than others - we all needed relief from sin. To approach that other person, we have to believe we are worse, or as bad, as anyone else.
But Jesus' death on the cross also tells us we are loved. By showing us how loved we are, Jesus has removed any of our motivations to avoid hard conversations by fear. We are loved, even in the hard conversations.
Challenge: Who do you want to criticize or judge? Are you guilty of the same? Approach that person on the level, tell them you’re working on this issue in yourself, and see what happens from there.
