If there is one thing we’ve seen from this week’s exploration of how following Jesus “resets” our views of sex and marriage, it is that we have a choice. Like the Corinthians, we have the physical abilities, biological urge, and even the legal right to engage in whatever sexual activities we can dream up…with very few exceptions, and sometimes even without immediate consequences. In our society today, no one can really stop you – you essentially have the right to do what you want.
But Paul was writing to the Corinthian Christians, those who have chosen to follow Jesus and allow him to “reset” their entire lives. They have intentionally chosen to live in God’s kingdom and enjoy its rights, rather than the kingdom of this world and its rights. He wants them and us to see that although we can do almost anything legally in this world, it doesn’t mean we should. It may be lawful in our world, but it isn’t good for us in God’s kingdom. Unlimited sexuality may satisfy a biological urge, but we are more than bodies, we are made in the image of God. We are made for much more than what the Corinthians, or many of us, are settling for while separated from God.
But for now, here are some good questions for us all to consider – if you have commited to this journey, or are willing to give it a try – you will have to leave some rights behind, in order to gain all that God offers his children. What is it for you, that you will grieve leaving behind? Or if you’ve been practicing the kingdom for a time, what old way of life do you keep returning to, try as you may? As Paul puts it, what do you need to flee from, in order to be fully free to experience the fullness of life as God intended it? Yes, flee. The false god of sex outside God’s “containers” can get such a hold on us, we actually have to run away from it, as we run towards Jesus. Some baggage can’t come with us, but must be fled.
Chances are there is a sexual dimension to all our brokenness, where we fall short of God’s real plans for us and our lives. The solution is not to try harder, be better, etc. but to flee – to leave this world with its rights that may be legal in our society but are ultimately destructive in God’s. Christians set out on a journey with Jesus to the kingdom of God…where we put him at the center of our lives, and start practicing, over time and effort and failure, listening to his guidance in scripture and allowing him to reshape us into what he created us to be in the first place, both our bodies and souls. To do that, you have to flee something, but God promises the destination, even the journey, are far better than we could ever imagine.
Challenge: Consider, and discuss with your spouse if married, or a loved one, what sexual brokenness you’ll need to “flee” in order to travel together towards God’s kingdom.
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You’ll be challenged to forgive today. Perhaps you bristle at the thought, and say, “no one can tell me when to forgive. I can hold a grudge if I want to.”
I once knew a woman you shared a story with me about a past employer who was cruel and unkind. My friend became visibly agitated as she told the story, and said that to this day, she leaves parties and restaurants the moment her former employer arrives. I asked when this happened, and learned this person had been leaving parties and restaurants for 20 years!
The worst part is, the cruel employer may have no idea this is happening. My friend thinks she is hurting her former employer, but she’s really hurting herself, by bowing out of parties!
This is a vivid example of how forgiveness is not just about releasing those who hurt us, but it is a release for the person doing the forgiving as well.
It allows us to step out of God’s role, and allow him to be God over us. That’s what being a Christian is supposed to be all about, and is why Jesus claimed forgiveness was so essential for his followers. If we do not forgive others, we are trying to be God – the ultimate judge – over them.
Now, forgiveness is very hard, I will admit. It’s seen as impossible for many. But thankfully, we don’t have to muster the strength or resolve to forgive all on our own. Jesus has forgiven everyone for us. He went around earth forgiving people their sins, which seemed absurd, since he didn’t appear to have been wronged. But as God, he was wronged anytime one of his beloved children was wronged, and could forgive those sinners even when the wronged party could not.
We forgive because God has forgiven us, and even if we can’t find the strength, forgiveness can be as simple as asking God to forgive them.
The example of my friend who left parties because her enemy arrived is apt. God’s kingdom is described in the Bible as a party. Forgiveness can let us enjoy the party - God’s party. Don’t avoid the party, just to hold a grudge.
Challenge: Consider someone who has hurt you. Forgive them today. Start by telling God you’ve forgiven them, or need him to forgive them. Then tell yourself they are forgiven, every day, if necessary. Then, if you can, and it’s safe, tell that person that they are forgiven.
This is a process – it needs to be a daily practice sometimes.
If forgiveness is something that needs to happen in your relationship, we have some great help on forgiveness in the Marriage Course. The forgiveness topic starts on Day 27.
