If there is one thing we’ve seen from this week’s exploration of how following Jesus “resets” our views of sex and marriage, it is that we have a choice. Like the Corinthians, we have the physical abilities, biological urge, and even the legal right to engage in whatever sexual activities we can dream up…with very few exceptions, and sometimes even without immediate consequences. In our society today, no one can really stop you – you essentially have the right to do what you want.
But Paul was writing to the Corinthian Christians, those who have chosen to follow Jesus and allow him to “reset” their entire lives. They have intentionally chosen to live in God’s kingdom and enjoy its rights, rather than the kingdom of this world and its rights. He wants them and us to see that although we can do almost anything legally in this world, it doesn’t mean we should. It may be lawful in our world, but it isn’t good for us in God’s kingdom. Unlimited sexuality may satisfy a biological urge, but we are more than bodies, we are made in the image of God. We are made for much more than what the Corinthians, or many of us, are settling for while separated from God.
But for now, here are some good questions for us all to consider – if you have commited to this journey, or are willing to give it a try – you will have to leave some rights behind, in order to gain all that God offers his children. What is it for you, that you will grieve leaving behind? Or if you’ve been practicing the kingdom for a time, what old way of life do you keep returning to, try as you may? As Paul puts it, what do you need to flee from, in order to be fully free to experience the fullness of life as God intended it? Yes, flee. The false god of sex outside God’s “containers” can get such a hold on us, we actually have to run away from it, as we run towards Jesus. Some baggage can’t come with us, but must be fled.
Chances are there is a sexual dimension to all our brokenness, where we fall short of God’s real plans for us and our lives. The solution is not to try harder, be better, etc. but to flee – to leave this world with its rights that may be legal in our society but are ultimately destructive in God’s. Christians set out on a journey with Jesus to the kingdom of God…where we put him at the center of our lives, and start practicing, over time and effort and failure, listening to his guidance in scripture and allowing him to reshape us into what he created us to be in the first place, both our bodies and souls. To do that, you have to flee something, but God promises the destination, even the journey, are far better than we could ever imagine.
Challenge: Consider, and discuss with your spouse if married, or a loved one, what sexual brokenness you’ll need to “flee” in order to travel together towards God’s kingdom.
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It seems like every sitcom shares a feature: friends just come and go, they seldom knock or call first. Think of Friends – the characters simply came and went. You might think Seinfeld was an exception, with George and Elaine buzzing from the lobby, but don’t forget how Jerry’s neighbour Kramer just tumbles in the door. I’m sure to some degree this is about writing a good script – you can’t have a lot of down time waiting for people to answer the doorbell. But it also communicates something about the depth of their friendship.
Some researchers say these kinds of friends have what’s called refrigerator rights. The term comes from a book of the same name, but you may have heard it in pop culture, too. It defines a close relationship, where even though they don’t live there, a friend is able to come and go at will, and even eat from the other’s fridge without asking. It’s a high level of friendship.
For some people, maybe that seems natural enough. You grew up with it, perhaps. But for others, it bothers you. You might think it’s awkward, too intimate, or too trusting. You might ask, “What if I needed those leftovers for lunch tomorrow? What if that dessert was for a party? What if you come in my house while I’m in the shower, sleeping, or arguing with my spouse?”
The lines between family and friend are starting to blur in that kind of relationship. That’s the shift we’re going to explore this week in our pursuit of becoming great neighbours. We’ll look at the relationships with our neighbours that go deepest – where we become like family, with a focused, high level of friendship.
Question: How do you react to people having “refrigerator rights” in your house? Would you love more relationships that close, or are you a bit nervous?
