Parenting Children - September 20, 2012

Day 37 - Helping our children manage their anger - Older children Ages 5-10

Parenting Children Ages 0-10

• read each child’s way of showing anger
• aim to teach them "expression," rather than aggression or "suppression"
• help them to express anger appropriately (verbally and pleasantly)
• correct rudeness, destructive behavior, swearing, hitting others, etc. - without shutting them down
• allow them to express negative feelings: hurt, sadness, anger, etc.
• not allowing expression or discussion can lead to passive aggressive behavior, i.e; using negative behavior to get back at parents, such as being uncommunicative, refusing to co-operate, or being deliberately annoying
• we need to recognize if we are contributing to the problem and our child’s anger
• don't punish for being immature in expressing negative feelings

Question:
For you, what will be hardest about reacting to anger in this way? Why?

From Series: Parenting Children Ages 0-10 | More Messages from Parenting Children | Download Audio

From Series: "Parenting Children Ages 0-10"

Study Guide

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We look at the role of reflecting back, responding appropriately and taking a long-term view in healthy communications.7. Reflect back what they have said

  • say back to them what you think they are trying to express, particularly their feelings use some of their own words and phrases

8. Respond appropriately

  • give guidance and reassurance
  • they are likely to remember our words for years to come

9. Take a long-term view

  • sometimes any meaningful communicationwith teenagers can be a big struggle
  • difficulties are usually the result of a phase they’re going through
  • try to create the conditions for conversation to become easier, at mealtimes; spending time with them doing what they enjoy; using their love language
  • if worried, seek professional help and/or medical support

Role play with another adult.  Have them share a typical teenage problem with you, and reflect back what they’ve said.  Go back and forth for a few minutes, then switch.  What was easy or hard about this?