Parenting Children - August 17, 2012

Day 5 – Experiencing & Observing Healthy Relationships

Children learn to relate through experiencing, observing, and practicing various relationships within the family:
•  parent-child
•  mother-father
•  sibling-sibling
•  grandparent-grandchild
•  uncles, aunts, cousins, etc. Experiencing: parent-child relationship
•  children learn to love through experiencing their parents. unconditional love
•  important for children to feel accepted for who they are Our love and acceptance give our children confidence through building in them:
•  security (knowing they are loved not for what they do, but for who they are)
•  self-worth (knowing they are of value - their self-worth is based on what they think we, their parents, think of them)
•  significance (knowing there is a purpose to their lives, and that they have a worthwhile contribution to make) Ultimately security, self-worth and Significance come from God
•  we model God’s parenthood of us
•  parents are in loco dei (in His place to represent Him) Observing: mother-father (and other adult) relationships
•  children learn to relate through observing adult relationships
•  how we, their parents, speak and listen to each other
•  the physical affection we show
•  whether and how we resolve conflicts
•  children need to see firsthand the modeling of an intimate, committed adult relationship
•  if parenting together, consider doing The Marriage Course to invest in your relationship
•  if not parenting together, work at having thebest possible relationship with your child’s other parent (resolving conflict, forgiveness, consistency, etc.)

Question:
Where is your child learning most about how to build healthy relationships?

Study Guide

More Messages Associated With "Family"...

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We look at the role of reflecting back, responding appropriately and taking a long-term view in healthy communications.7. Reflect back what they have said

  • say back to them what you think they are trying to express, particularly their feelings use some of their own words and phrases

8. Respond appropriately

  • give guidance and reassurance
  • they are likely to remember our words for years to come

9. Take a long-term view

  • sometimes any meaningful communicationwith teenagers can be a big struggle
  • difficulties are usually the result of a phase they’re going through
  • try to create the conditions for conversation to become easier, at mealtimes; spending time with them doing what they enjoy; using their love language
  • if worried, seek professional help and/or medical support

Role play with another adult.  Have them share a typical teenage problem with you, and reflect back what they’ve said.  Go back and forth for a few minutes, then switch.  What was easy or hard about this?