Parenting Children - September 9, 2012

Day 26 - Helping Children Make Good Choices Part II

4. Be one step ahead

• use distraction, distract your child from the issue causing conflict
• develop your own tarntlu rules to avoid regular arguments

5. Give choices

• being given choices is an important part of a child’s learning to take responsibility
• give choices over issues that are unimportant,
• Which of your toys do you want to take?" and “Do you want to play on the beach or go swimming?"
• giving choices helps to defuse conflict

6. Stay in control

• avoid being dragged into shouting matches our emotional reactions can give children a sense of power over us - like allowing them to press a "big red button" on our chests to see us react. getting angry, chasing them, getting upset
• find a way to give realistic warnings
• don't be manipulated by your child(ren)'s shouting, whining, or tantrums

Question:
How can you stay in control of yourself when faced with bad behaviour?

From Series: Parenting Children Ages 0-10 | More Messages from Parenting Children | Download Audio

From Series: "Parenting Children Ages 0-10"

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We look at the role of reflecting back, responding appropriately and taking a long-term view in healthy communications.7. Reflect back what they have said

  • say back to them what you think they are trying to express, particularly their feelings use some of their own words and phrases

8. Respond appropriately

  • give guidance and reassurance
  • they are likely to remember our words for years to come

9. Take a long-term view

  • sometimes any meaningful communicationwith teenagers can be a big struggle
  • difficulties are usually the result of a phase they’re going through
  • try to create the conditions for conversation to become easier, at mealtimes; spending time with them doing what they enjoy; using their love language
  • if worried, seek professional help and/or medical support

Role play with another adult.  Have them share a typical teenage problem with you, and reflect back what they’ve said.  Go back and forth for a few minutes, then switch.  What was easy or hard about this?