• use distraction, distract your child from the issue causing conflict
• develop your own tarntlu rules to avoid regular arguments
5. Give choices
• being given choices is an important part of a child’s learning to take responsibility
• give choices over issues that are unimportant,
• Which of your toys do you want to take?" and “Do you want to play on the beach or go swimming?"
• giving choices helps to defuse conflict
6. Stay in control
• avoid being dragged into shouting matches our emotional reactions can give children a sense of power over us - like allowing them to press a "big red button" on our chests to see us react. getting angry, chasing them, getting upset
• find a way to give realistic warnings
• don't be manipulated by your child(ren)'s shouting, whining, or tantrums
Question: How can you stay in control of yourself when faced with bad behaviour?
never too soon to start (see the account of John the Baptist in the womb in Luke 1:44, The Bible)
never too late to start (see the Parable of the Lost Son in Luke 15: 11-24, The Bible)
turn fears and longings into prayers
when to pray:
with them before they go to sleep
teaching them to pray (thank you, sorry, please)
on our own
with others
in traffic jams or when cleaning up or ironing
when prompted (often at moments of potential danger or temptation for our child)
everyday
what to pray for:
friendships
schools
their health
their safety
their marriage partner (most children will marry one day and their marriage partner may well already be alive somewhere)
their response to God’s love
their characters – use the fruit of the Spirit as a list to pray through: love. joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (see Galatians 5: 22-23, The Bible)
pray with them, particularly at bedtime
pray for yourselves as parents
Take some time to pray for your child(ren), and plan to make it a regular routine. Our Christianity 101 Course may help you explore the topic of prayer, God and Christianity in more depth.
