• some people react like a rhino - when angry, they go on the attack and express their feelings aggressively
• some people react like a hedgehog - when angry, they protect themselves and bury their feelings
• learning to control our anger
• Recognize the root of our anger
• HALT - ask: Am I Hungry, Anxious, Lonely or Tired?
• displaced anger: buried anger caused by someone in the past can come out in the present against someone else
• deal with unresolved hurt from the past through forgiveness
2. Take time out to calm down
• press the pause button
• avoid jumping to conclusions
3. Label the action not the child's character
• avoid phrases like "You're so careless” or "You're so unkind”
• children can believe labels
• labeling the action helps them to change, e.g.; That was a careless thing to do" or "That was an unkind remark to make”
4. Use "I" statements to express own feelings
• helps us to avoid labeling other people
• easier for them to respond constructively
• and make changes in their behavior
Question: Do you tend to react more like a rhino or a hedgehog? What helps you express your anger effectively? How do your children tend to react? What helps them?
never too soon to start (see the account of John the Baptist in the womb in Luke 1:44, The Bible)
never too late to start (see the Parable of the Lost Son in Luke 15: 11-24, The Bible)
turn fears and longings into prayers
when to pray:
with them before they go to sleep
teaching them to pray (thank you, sorry, please)
on our own
with others
in traffic jams or when cleaning up or ironing
when prompted (often at moments of potential danger or temptation for our child)
everyday
what to pray for:
friendships
schools
their health
their safety
their marriage partner (most children will marry one day and their marriage partner may well already be alive somewhere)
their response to God’s love
their characters – use the fruit of the Spirit as a list to pray through: love. joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (see Galatians 5: 22-23, The Bible)
pray with them, particularly at bedtime
pray for yourselves as parents
Take some time to pray for your child(ren), and plan to make it a regular routine. Our Christianity 101 Course may help you explore the topic of prayer, God and Christianity in more depth.
