Parenting Teens - September 4, 2012

Day 19 - Effective Communications Strategies Part I

Parenting Teenagers

We look at the role of listening and attention-giving in effective communications.

2. Learn to listen
• treat them like young adults (not children) • Listen carefully to their views and feelings

Effective communication requires that parents o learn to speak with their teenager rather than at their teenager (Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages of Teenagers) o engage in discussion and be prepared to debate the issues rather than repeating Simplistic slogans such as “You're too young to have a boyfriend” or “drugs are dangerous”

3. Give your full attention • recognize the important moments to listen and give your full attention • don't try to listen to your teenager while doing something else at the same time • maintain eye contact; observe your teenager’s body language

Question:
When have you had your best conversations with your teenager?

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From Series: "Parenting Teenagers"

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Nurturing involves seeking to meet each other’s emotional needs for affection, encouragement, support, comfort, etc,

  • we all have a longing to be loved and to be known by another
  • empty space inside that needs to be filled up with love
  • when empty, we feel alone or lonely giving each other emotional support refills the empty space inside
  • we are made for close relationships

How to nurture

Be proactive rather than reactive:

  • being reactive means focusing on each others shortcomings
  • being proactive means focusing on each other’s needs
  • proactive behavior draws couples together because each one feels loved; when we feel loved, we feel like loving

Study each other:

  • recognize each other’s needs
  • often our partner’s needs and desires will be different to our own
  • discover what matters to your husband or wife. otherwise we tend to give what we like to receive.
  • needs change over time
  • make requests, not demands
  • we can’t assume our husband or wife automatically knows our desires. We must tell each other.

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