Parenting Teens - September 6, 2012

Day 21 - Effective Communications Strategies Part III

We look at the role of reflecting back, responding appropriately and taking a long-term view in healthy communications.

7. Reflect back what they have said • say back to them what you think they are trying to express, particularly their feelings use some of their own words and phrases

8. Respond appropriately • give guidance and reassurance • they are likely to remember our words for years to come

9. Take a long-term view • sometimes any meaningful communicationwith teenagers can be a big struggle • difficulties are usually the result of a phase they're going through • try to create the conditions for conversation to become easier, at mealtimes; spending time with them doing what they enjoy; using their love language • if worried, seek professional help and/or medical support

Question:
Role play with another adult. Have them share a typical teenage problem with you, and reflect back what they’ve said. Go back and forth for a few minutes, then switch. What was easy or hard about this?

From Series: "Parenting Teenagers"

Study Guide

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Nurturing involves seeking to meet each other’s emotional needs for affection, encouragement, support, comfort, etc,

  • we all have a longing to be loved and to be known by another
  • empty space inside that needs to be filled up with love
  • when empty, we feel alone or lonely giving each other emotional support refills the empty space inside
  • we are made for close relationships

How to nurture

Be proactive rather than reactive:

  • being reactive means focusing on each others shortcomings
  • being proactive means focusing on each other’s needs
  • proactive behavior draws couples together because each one feels loved; when we feel loved, we feel like loving

Study each other:

  • recognize each other’s needs
  • often our partner’s needs and desires will be different to our own
  • discover what matters to your husband or wife. otherwise we tend to give what we like to receive.
  • needs change over time
  • make requests, not demands
  • we can’t assume our husband or wife automatically knows our desires. We must tell each other.

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