Marriage Course - September 14, 2012

Day 28 - Understanding Anger

Marriage

Reactions to hurt

1. Anger
• some are like rhinos-they attack when provoked
• some are like hedgehogs-they withdraw when threatened

2. Retaliation
• to let our partner know what the hurt felt like

3. Fear
• we withdraw so as not to be hurt again

4. Guilt
• hurt will always be caused by both partners

Question:Identify whether you are a rhino or hedgehog. If you're not sure, ask your partner.

From Series: "Marriage"

Study Guide

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  • we’re not incompatible unless we refuse to change
  • we can change ourselves; we cannot change each other
  • we can only change when we know what matters to each other
  • we must tell each other what frustrates and hurts us
  • much conflict arises from our different assumptions about the way things should be
  • important to be aware of our own and each other’s values (often learned during our upbringing)
  • requesting change is helpful; demanding change is harmful

Complete the worksheet below.  Even if you don’t have children today, complete it if you intend to have children in the future: