Marriage Course - September 19, 2012

Day 33 - The Healing Process - Forgive

Forgiveness IS essential and one of the greatest forces for healing In a marriage Degrees of difficulty in forgiving
o Jesus on the cross of those who crucified him
o Small Issues, e.g. husband or wife forqeting to do something or making you late
o Big issues, e.g. unfaithfulness

Forgiveness, is first and foremost, a choice, not a feeling
• Question is not, "Do we feel like forgiving?
• Question IS, "Will we forgive? Will we let go of our self-pity / demand for justice / desire to retaliate?"

Question:What does forgiveness mean to you? Have you been forgiven, or had to forgive someone recently? Do you find it easy, or hard to forgive?

From Series: "Marriage"

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When we expect our partner to meet all our needs, We inevitably fail each other and get hurt, causing our marriage to spiral downward.

When we look to God to meet our needs for significance, security, and self-esteem, we are better able to give to each other.

See the diagram on the right.

Praying Together

  • helps us connect with each other in a meaningful way
  • ensure prayers are vertical, not horizontal and manipulative
  • five to ten minutes a dad is better than one hour every month
  • ask each other, What can I pray for you today?”
  • accept the same requests day after day
  • draw on God’s promises from the Bible and start with thankfulness
  • don’t give up even if you have young children
  • the closer each of us is individually in our relationship with God, the closer we are to each other as husband and wife
  • if one has upset the other, say sorry before praying
  • be deliberate and plan it into your schedule

if you’re not comfortable praying, find other ways to connect and support each other on a daily basis

Ask your husband or wife if there’s one thinq they’re concerned about at the moment. Then if you are comfortable prayinq, pray for each other. Otherwise, express your support in some other way.