Marriage Course - September 11, 2012

Day 25 - Putting Negotiation into Action and Grow Together

• we're not incompatible unless we refuse to change
• we can change ourselves; we cannot change each other
• we can only change when we know what matters to each other
• we must tell each other what frustrates and hurts us
• much conflict arises from our different assumptions about the way things should be
• important to be aware of our own and each other’s values (often learned during our upbringing)
• requesting change is helpful; demanding change is harmful

Question:Complete the Worksheet found under "Study Guide"

From Series: "Marriage"

Study Guide

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When we expect our partner to meet all our needs, We inevitably fail each other and get hurt, causing our marriage to spiral downward.

When we look to God to meet our needs for significance, security, and self-esteem, we are better able to give to each other.

See the diagram on the right.

Praying Together

  • helps us connect with each other in a meaningful way
  • ensure prayers are vertical, not horizontal and manipulative
  • five to ten minutes a dad is better than one hour every month
  • ask each other, What can I pray for you today?”
  • accept the same requests day after day
  • draw on God’s promises from the Bible and start with thankfulness
  • don’t give up even if you have young children
  • the closer each of us is individually in our relationship with God, the closer we are to each other as husband and wife
  • if one has upset the other, say sorry before praying
  • be deliberate and plan it into your schedule

if you’re not comfortable praying, find other ways to connect and support each other on a daily basis

Ask your husband or wife if there’s one thinq they’re concerned about at the moment. Then if you are comfortable prayinq, pray for each other. Otherwise, express your support in some other way.