Marriage Course - September 16, 2012

Day 30 - The Healing Process

Marriage

What happens if hurt and anger are buried?

Physical symptoms
• disturbed sleep
• appetite affected
• medical conditions, e.g.; ulcers, high blood
• pressure, pain

Behavioral symptoms
• inability to relax
• low sexual desire
• quick temper / intolerance
• escape through drugs, alcohol, pornography, etc.
• escape into work, children, religious activities, etc.

Emotional symptoms
• loss of positive emotions, e.g.; romance, love, joy
• low self-esteem / depression
• shut down
• fear of confrontation

Question:How many of these are part of your life today? How, if at all, are they connected with unresolved anger?

From Series: "Marriage"

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Reactions to hurt

1. Anger

  • some are like rhinos-they attack when provoked
  • some are like hedgehogs-they withdraw when threatened

2. Retaliation

  • to let our partner know what the hurt felt like

3. Fear

  • we withdraw so as not to be hurt again

4. Guilt

  • hurt will always be caused by both partners

Identify whether you are a rhino or hedgehog. If you’re not sure, ask your partner.