Marriage Course - September 14, 2012

Day 28 - Understanding Anger

Reactions to hurt

1. Anger
• some are like rhinos-they attack when provoked
• some are like hedgehogs-they withdraw when threatened

2. Retaliation
• to let our partner know what the hurt felt like

3. Fear
• we withdraw so as not to be hurt again

4. Guilt
• hurt will always be caused by both partners

Question:Identify whether you are a rhino or hedgehog. If you're not sure, ask your partner.

From Series: "Marriage"

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What happens if hurt and anger are buried?

Physical symptoms

  • disturbed sleep
  • appetite affected
  • medical conditions, e.g.; ulcers, high blood
  • pressure, pain

Behavioral symptoms

  • inability to relax
  • low sexual desire
  • quick temper / intolerance
  • escape through drugs, alcohol, pornography, etc.
  • escape into work, children, religious activities, etc.

Emotional symptoms

  • loss of positive emotions, e.g.; romance, love, joy
  • low self-esteem / depression
  • shut down
  • fear of confrontation

How many of these are part of your life today?  How, if at all, are they connected with unresolved anger?