Parenting Children - August 17, 2012

Day 5 – Experiencing & Observing Healthy Relationships

Children learn to relate through experiencing, observing, and practicing various relationships within the family:
•  parent-child
•  mother-father
•  sibling-sibling
•  grandparent-grandchild
•  uncles, aunts, cousins, etc. Experiencing: parent-child relationship
•  children learn to love through experiencing their parents. unconditional love
•  important for children to feel accepted for who they are Our love and acceptance give our children confidence through building in them:
•  security (knowing they are loved not for what they do, but for who they are)
•  self-worth (knowing they are of value - their self-worth is based on what they think we, their parents, think of them)
•  significance (knowing there is a purpose to their lives, and that they have a worthwhile contribution to make) Ultimately security, self-worth and Significance come from God
•  we model God’s parenthood of us
•  parents are in loco dei (in His place to represent Him) Observing: mother-father (and other adult) relationships
•  children learn to relate through observing adult relationships
•  how we, their parents, speak and listen to each other
•  the physical affection we show
•  whether and how we resolve conflicts
•  children need to see firsthand the modeling of an intimate, committed adult relationship
•  if parenting together, consider doing The Marriage Course to invest in your relationship
•  if not parenting together, work at having thebest possible relationship with your child’s other parent (resolving conflict, forgiveness, consistency, etc.)

Question:
Where is your child learning most about how to build healthy relationships?

Study Guide

More Messages Associated With "Relationships"...

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We look at two more consequences of sin:

  • makes us seek justice in this life
  • separates us from others and from God

Thirdly, thankfully there is something in human nature that cries out for justice. When we hear about atrocities in our world, we long for these people to be brought to justice, for them to be caught and punished for what they have done.

I have never yet met anyone who wants God to be the sort of person who says “you know what, crimes against humanity, or children, just don’t really bother me, let’s just sweep it under the carpet and get on with life.”  No, we want a just world, and want God to be a God who demands justice in this life.

And while our motives can sometimes be mixed, you might be out for revenge, or it makes us feel better about yourself to see others being punished, there is such a thing as justifiable anger—we don’t want people to get away with things.

However, it is not just other people’s sins that need to be held to account; it is our own as well.  If we want a God of justice when it comes to others, we have to accept that for ourselves, too.  God is a God of justice and we are told clearly in the Bible that we will one day all be subject to God’s judgement.   Sin must come up against justice at some point.

And fourthly, sin separates us from others and from God.

Sin is about being far from God, far from that relationship that we were created for.

When we try to replace God with something, or someone else, or us, it naturally introduces a separation between us and God.  Imagine if you discovered your best friend at work was campaigning to have you replaced.  No matter how good the friendship once was, this plan would be insulting, and would introduce a separation between you!

All the sinful things that we do and don’t do, build up a barrier between us and God and between us and other people. remember my little post it notes around the room, and imagine them piling up as thick as a phonebook.  When I first started to sin, it probably seemed quite manageable – I could rip through a post it note or two.  But now that it’s so thick, it’s impossible to break through.

This barrier that sin builds up between us and God is a terrible thing and so often I hear from people who ask why they are not aware of God in my life and I cant feel God.  It is that barrier that has built up between us and God, the barrier of sin, the barrier of our ignoring of God, of our rejecting of God’s hopes and God’s will for our lives.  Something must be done about it, but we simply are not strong enough to rip through that barrier ourselves.

Is there a bad habit in your life that you have struggled with? What effect do bad habits have on our own lives, and on others around us? Bad habits are not always sin, but how is sin like a bad habit?