Training our children for healthy independence
• we don't own our children
• we are helping our children move from parental control to self-control
• letting them go can be hard for parents
• a gradual process over eighteen years
• allow them to make their own decisions and learn from their own mistakes
• unhealthy control can be caused by wanting to look good, fear of failure, stress, or perfectionism
Question: How can you allow your children to learn from their mistakes while still protecting them sufficiently?
make sure the time is clear of any other commitments for every member of the family
prevent interruptions from the telephone or other people (unless they are invited with the understanding that it is family time
Suggested routine for family times
try to make it the same time each week
spend at least an hour and a half having fun
take turns choosing what activity you do (See worksheet)
have it coincide with a meal
get each family member in turn to choose their favorite menu -when they are old enough, use it as an opportunity to teach them to cook their choice of food
make sure conversation and activities are at the level of the children
if it is a week night, work out when to fit in homework, music practice, etc. (before or after depending on the age of the children)
turn off the TV, or limit it to one program or DVD that you can watch together
children learn about good and bad behavior from their family
they learn values such as:
thinking about others
taking responsibility
helping around the house
How can you plan a focused time of play with your child(ren) this week? Spend some time thinking about your moral compass – where does it point? Why?