• read each child’s way of showing anger
• aim to teach them "expression," rather than aggression or "suppression"
• help them to express anger appropriately (verbally and pleasantly)
• correct rudeness, destructive behavior, swearing, hitting others, etc. - without shutting them down
• allow them to express negative feelings: hurt, sadness, anger, etc.
• not allowing expression or discussion can lead to passive aggressive behavior, i.e; using negative behavior to get back at parents, such as being uncommunicative, refusing to co-operate, or being deliberately annoying
• we need to recognize if we are contributing to the problem and our child’s anger
• don't punish for being immature in expressing negative feelings
Question: For you, what will be hardest about reacting to anger in this way? Why?
make sure the time is clear of any other commitments for every member of the family
prevent interruptions from the telephone or other people (unless they are invited with the understanding that it is family time
Suggested routine for family times
try to make it the same time each week
spend at least an hour and a half having fun
take turns choosing what activity you do (See worksheet)
have it coincide with a meal
get each family member in turn to choose their favorite menu -when they are old enough, use it as an opportunity to teach them to cook their choice of food
make sure conversation and activities are at the level of the children
if it is a week night, work out when to fit in homework, music practice, etc. (before or after depending on the age of the children)
turn off the TV, or limit it to one program or DVD that you can watch together
children learn about good and bad behavior from their family
they learn values such as:
thinking about others
taking responsibility
helping around the house
How can you plan a focused time of play with your child(ren) this week? Spend some time thinking about your moral compass – where does it point? Why?
