• our children crave to be noticed by us and crave our attention
• special time with each child develops their self-esteem and their ability to relate to others
• can be difficult for us as parents to recognize this need and to fulfill it
• the more children we have, the more planning and conscious effort it takes
• channels of communication are opened through spending one-on-one time with our child(ren)
• can transform a child’s behavior
eye contact:
• can be used either positively or negatively
• children learn by modeling - if we do it, they'll do it
• easy when they are babies - but don't give up eye contact as they get older
• good eye contact goes hand in hand with active listening
Question: Do you have fond memories of 1:1 time with a parent? What memories can you create with your children one on one?
Children learn to relate through experiencing, observing, and practicing various relationships within the family:
parent-child
mother-father
sibling-sibling
grandparent-grandchild
uncles, aunts, cousins, etc.
Experiencing: parent-child relationship
children learn to love through experiencing their parents. unconditional love
important for children to feel accepted for who they are
our love and acceptance give our children confidence through building in them:
security (knowing they are loved not for what they do, but for who they are)
self-worth (knowing they are of value – their self-worth is based on what they think we, their parents, think of them)
significance (knowing there is a purpose to their lives, and that they have a worthwhile contribution to make)
ultimately security, self-worth and Significance come from God
we model God’s parenthood of us
parents are in loco dei (in His place to represent Him)
Observing: mother-father (and other adult) relationships
children learn to relate through observing adult relationships
how we, their parents, speak and listen to each other
the physical affection we show
whether and how we resolve conflicts
children need to see firsthand the modeling of an intimate, committed adult relationship
if parenting together, consider doing The Marriage Course to invest in your relationship
if not parenting together, work at having thebest possible relationship with your child’s other parent (resolving conflict, forgiveness, consistency, etc.)
Where is your child learning most about how to build healthy relationships?
