Marriage Course - September 20, 2012

Day 34 - What Forgiveness Is and Is Not

Marriage

Forgiveness IS NOT
• demanding a person changes before we forgive them
• pretending it doesn't matter and trying to forget about it
• thinking time alone will heal the hurt

Forgiveness IS
• facing the wrong done to us
• recognizing the emotions inside
• releasing the other person into God's hands, leaving the consequences to Him
• choosing not to hold it against our husband or wife

If we do not forgive we'll be the one imprisoned by the bitterness, resentment, and anger

Forgiveness is a process-we often need to keep forgiving for the same hurt-sometimes on a daily basis

God forgives us freely and therefore we must forgive each other freely

Start Again Together:
• begin each day with a fresh start and no backlog-tear off each page of the notebook
• don't expect healing to be instant-apology and forgiveness remove the distance between us but the hurt leaves a bruising that needs time to heal
• re-build trust by setting aside marriage time, and being gentle and kind towards each other
• pray for one another-pray aloud or silently, asking God to heal your partner of the hurt you have caused him or her

This process is like a drain that carries away the hurt

Confession to God and those we hurt, together with forgiving those who have hurt us, must become a daily habit if intimacy is to be maintained. Otherwise the drain begins to block up with unresolved hurt and anger.

Question:Ask your husband or wife to tell you one way that you can support them this week. If you feel comfortable, pray for each other – aloud or silently. Otherwise express your support in some other way.

Question 2:Complete the Worksheet found under "Study Guide"

From Series: "Marriage"

Study Guide

More Messages Associated With "Marriage"...

Powered by Series Engine

  • for children, love is spelled T.I.M.E.
  • children need quantity time as well as quality time
  • significance of first eighteen months of a child’s life
  • who will be our child’s main caregiver?
  • can be hard to work out balance of parenting and employment
    • working at home/from home
    • full-time/part-time
  • the time we spend with our children is more powerful in communicating our love than anything we say
  • we need to prioritize our time
    • learning when to said “yes” to our children and “no” to other people and things
    • the only place we are indispensable is at home
  • we need to plan our time
    • time with the people who are most precious to us doesn’t just happen
    • if married, plan marriage time” each week
    • as a parent, plan “family time” each week
    • plan some one-to-one time with each child (we will look at this in detail in Session 2 Part 2)
  • we need to protect our time from
    • the TV
    • the telephone
    • other people
    • our work

What demands on your time stop you from spending time with your children?

1286