• use distraction, distract your child from the issue causing conflict
• develop your own tarntlu rules to avoid regular arguments
5. Give choices
• being given choices is an important part of a child’s learning to take responsibility
• give choices over issues that are unimportant,
• Which of your toys do you want to take?" and “Do you want to play on the beach or go swimming?"
• giving choices helps to defuse conflict
6. Stay in control
• avoid being dragged into shouting matches our emotional reactions can give children a sense of power over us - like allowing them to press a "big red button" on our chests to see us react. getting angry, chasing them, getting upset
• find a way to give realistic warnings
• don't be manipulated by your child(ren)'s shouting, whining, or tantrums
Question: How can you stay in control of yourself when faced with bad behaviour?
make sure the time is clear of any other commitments for every member of the family
prevent interruptions from the telephone or other people (unless they are invited with the understanding that it is family time
Suggested routine for family times
try to make it the same time each week
spend at least an hour and a half having fun
take turns choosing what activity you do (See worksheet)
have it coincide with a meal
get each family member in turn to choose their favorite menu -when they are old enough, use it as an opportunity to teach them to cook their choice of food
make sure conversation and activities are at the level of the children
if it is a week night, work out when to fit in homework, music practice, etc. (before or after depending on the age of the children)
turn off the TV, or limit it to one program or DVD that you can watch together
children learn about good and bad behavior from their family
they learn values such as:
thinking about others
taking responsibility
helping around the house
How can you plan a focused time of play with your child(ren) this week? Spend some time thinking about your moral compass – where does it point? Why?
